The Now

Revelation 21:1-2 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

John saw the future as God showed him. He described a place full of worship and joy. A place where its God all the time - no wasted time - no broken hearts - no guilt or shame. But before the new church is revealed we have to go through the earth now. And the now will pass away as quickly as it came.

"...Amen. Come, Lord Jesus" (22:20)

This year (2008) is the old earth. It was full of pain, suffering, joys, heart break, passion, work, sweat, sin, smiles, depression, and love. But whether good or bad there is one thing that remained: God. Whether i thought He left or took a break, He didn't. Whether i prayed or journaled, He was still there through every happy or sad moment. He met me through the pain and the worship. He knows my heart, He knows whats going on - How I really feel and still wants to be with me.

Lord,
Sometimes I don't understand why you keep hanging on and i may never understand but with your majesty and love keep holding me. You are my Savior and King, my love and Father, my best friend - You are m heart. Keep it beating God through this new year of new revelations and findings. You are peace to this world and the answer to all.

I forever love you
Amen

All For Me

Titus 3:3-7 3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Jesus, since before creation knew what He was going to do for us. He knew that no matter what bad thing we did we could be saved.

I am saved by what Jesus did for me, not for anything I have done. Not the hours of prayer, the tears, the reading, or any nice thing, but its because of Gods mercy upon me. Because He has decided to do that for me. Its because God wants us to have that stuff: the kingdom, His treasures. He is the ultimate Father. The father that has done things i still don't know about because of the mercy and grace He holds with Him.

Lord,
Show me your grace. The mercy you have is indescribable - its untouchable - its impossible in my eyes - but you have made it reachable - tangible and worthy for me to see it. Only you can make grace something i can touch and physically see. Only you God.
I love you Always
Amen

12/6/08 Broken Storm

Philippians 2:6-8 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,7. but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-

Jesus was human yet divine at the same time. He wasn't above God, but is God and equal to Him. Does this make sense? No. Does it have to? No. But when Jesus became human he left his position in power and didn't even use it when he could have. He became the worst to understand our torments as humans.

Jesus is not who we make him out to be. He's not what we say He is because there is so much about him that we don't understand. He's not a huge being tats super far adn too busy. He's approachable and likeable because he's human. He may have been perfect but he also went through the junk we do.

Jesus Loves Me. He really does. He wants me to be happy and to stop torturing myself.

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
The water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you, everything would be alright
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cos I'm so used to living under the surface

If I could just see you, everything would be alright
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
Now everything is alright
Everything's alright.


Lord,
Get me out of this broken storm. Help me to choose the right path. Make things clear for me. I want to be in your light and shine for you. Grant me peace and mercy with you.
I love you Always
Amen.

For the children

Matthew 19:13-15 Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." 15. When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

The importance of being like a child was part of Jesus' ministry. Once we become like a child we belong to the kingdom of Heaven because we can truly see the glory of God with pure eyes.

Part of Jesus' frustration was that his disciples didn't catch on quickly. Before Jesus saying that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the children he had specifically told them: "...I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven..." (18:3-4)

As a modern day disciple of Christ I am to study His word and live it. He says to change myself into a child, have a mind like a child, then my thoughts, words, and actions are to change. If a child needs me I am to be there for them; guide them on the right path, listen to them, pray for them. Than...learn from them.

Father,
Your children are the future and I want to be a part of that generation. I want to see them grow up and rule this nation for you. Let me be a part of that, Lord, i want to be a part of your kingdom. As an adult Lord, guide me, help me, use me to better your heaven.
I love you Always
Amen

11/14 Imperfect

1 Corinthians 15:37-38, 43 When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38. But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. 43. it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power;


When we naturally live, we are imperfect. We are weak, broken, immature because the world brought us down. The world took our lives and destroyed it. When God created us we were perfect, God planted a perfect seed yet we grew up imperfect. But when we get baptized and give our lives over we can plant a "second chance" seed.

46-48 The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual.
47. The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. 48. As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven.

When i would read or hear about being Christ like I took it as right now. And it is for right now but its also meant in a divine way. Like Jesus was a heavenly man and I am meant to go to heaven. I am meant to end up at the feet of Christ. My goal, just like Jesus, is to be where He is now, in heaven. That is being Christ-like, doing all I can to be with him in heaven.

Lord,
I want to be with you, next to you, around you, loving you, singing to you, worshipping you. And I can do that now. Father, show me how to be heavenly in an earthly world. Help me on the right path, show me what decisions to make and be wise about my life. Only you can show me.
I love you Always
Amen

It's all about Me

Matthew 3:9 And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.

Don't believe you are safe from the judgement of God just because you said a prayer. Live a Christian life: Repent, pray, read, spread the Gospel.

My salvation prayer guaranteed me my name in the book of life, but my life guarantees me a spot next to or far away from Jesus. It's who I really am that Christ sees and where I will be after death that counts. I'm not going to rely on my parents to get me into heaven. This life is about me and my choices and my heart.

Father,
Look at my heart for what it really is. Don't see my flesh, my real spirit abides with you. You are my everything, my reason to exist. Keep me close to you so I can forever see you. Forgive me for straying away with my fleshy sins.
I love you Always
Amen

You want some cookies?

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Paul knew what it was like to know so much but do nothing with it. He was a scholar who studied with the best. He knew scripture, but never put it into practice. All he did was use it for evil because he forgot that love was the way to success.

1 Corinthians 13:11-12A When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face

As a child, I was innocent. I saw things with a brighter future. My parents were perfect, my family was happy, I was in heaven. But once I hit a certain age my mind began to change and i saw things darker. I became pessimistic and worrisome. I started to fear and doubt the future. My sin made me feel guilty and terrible. My life went downhill once I earned reality.

1 Corinthians 14:12B Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church.

We try to grow up so fast and become selfish but God wants us to grow up thinking of everyone else besides "me".

1 Corinthians 14:20,23 Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.
23 So if the whole church comes together and everyone speaks in tongues, and some who do not understand or some unbelievers come in, will they not say that you are out of your mind?

To grow up doesn't mean you have to be above people it just means during certain topics you need to be wise and mature. When it comes to God, He wants me to be like a child, innocent and pure in all ways . I can't just "try my best" to be like a child. I need to transform my thinking from the worlds to Gods. If I am here to gain souls I can't be over them but instead be like a child and love them with my whole heart. Share my cookies with them, be their best friend without knowing their first name, run with them, hold their hand, smile at them.

Father,
Transform my heart. Its too old, make me thoughts into a child's and create in me a new spirit. Help me to think and act like a child while remaining wise to the enemies tactics. You are my God and I am forever your child.
I love you Always
Amen
PS Hi Daddy ;0)

Intricate

1 Corinthians 12:22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable

There are certain parts of the body that seem unnecessary like a pinkie or wisdom teeth but God intricately placed our parts together for a purpose: to balance our bodies.

Just like the body of Christ we are all members for a purpose to bring balance and hold up the church. The weaker ones seem unimportant but they are the ones that can bring more parts because of their testimony and purity for God.

Lord,
I am weary and lost without you. I'm here for you and I will wait for you. I'm sorry for taking so long.
I love you Always
Amen
PS I'm always here....

11/2 Nothing Left

Mark 12:42-44 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. 43.Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44.They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything--all she had to live on."

This widow had nothing to live on but her faith. The belief that when she would drop those coins in, God would hear the cry of her heart she didn't just give cause she was poor, but because there was nothing left.

When we come before God He really wants us to be broken and open to hear from Him. Its not about us knowing everything and having it all but about giving it all back with a humble heart.

Lord,
Give me a humble heart that when i give back to you it will be with my whole heart and soul and mind. I don't want to give you riches but everything that I am. All that you've given me, I want to double it for you.
I love you Always
Amen
PS Show me your heart...

Curiosity

Acts 18:11 Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

Not everyone we preach to will receive the message as openly as others. The Bereans I believe were more curious than anything else. Maybe their reason for searching the Word wasn't a spiritual one but that's what it became. Their curiosity brought them to God.

My mission is not to force the gospel down someones throat but ti peek their interest. If i spark something than they'll want to learn more. They'll want to seek more and find more. My job is to plant seeds than when the person wants to be watered I'll have the jar full of living water.

God,
Give me the opportunity to plant seeds. Lord, my voice, my life, my heart, my everything is yours to use and have. Keep me close to you so i can see you and find you. Use me in any way you want. I am open for you.
I love you Always
Amen

Why?

Job 11:7-9 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? 8 They are higher than the heavens—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave —what can you know? 9 Their measure is longer than the earth
and wider than the sea.

Can anyone really understand where God comes from and how He does things? We sit and think Why? All the time but never come up with an answer cause Why? is not supposed to be answered sometimes.

The mysteries of God will always be just that. To me I have so many questions and i always will. But instead of trying to find the answers I brush them aside.

Romans 7:15
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I hate being lazy, i hate feeling so tired in the morning, I hate not praying, not reading, not having energy for the ministry, I hate being selfish, gluttonous, I hate what I'm doing. I mean I've cut out some very essential things and people in my life to begin to move forward. But I feel stuck. Stuck in who I am, stuck in the dirty mud, stuck in the garbage, stuck in a stack papers, stuck in emails, stuck in my life.

How can I change my thinking? I should have an answer right? I'd have an answer if I was counseling someone but "to thine own self be true" and for some reason that's what I'm lacking - truth.

Lord,
You are the truth and for some reason that's the very thing I've been hiding. I'm scared of judgement and condemnation and everything that doesn't come from you. For the first time I'm scared of evil, scared of the enemies mysteries when i should fear You. Where have I gone? How can I find myself again? I need your help. I'm asking for your help.
I love you Always
Amen
PS its me again...

Shake the Ground

Acts 4:31-32 After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. 32. All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

Gods prayer is supposed to be powerful. It's supposed to shake the ground and change lives. When we pray with power God opens the heavens and brings people together with one mentality. Not one person will be selfish or jealous but be filled with love and compassion. Everything would become common as we come together to pray.

I already know how strong prayer is and how many miracles can be done with just a little boldness. God doesn't want me to stay quiet but use the voice He gave me. He gave me instruments to use for His glory. To sing, to preach, and to pray. But its my turn to use them. To put them into practice and shake the ground.

Lord,
Shake the ground I walk on. Rock me to the point that I have no choice but to get on my knees and cry out to you. I need your help in my prayer time because I cant even do that alone. Show me that I made the right decisions in life and that I am following your will. I love you Always
Amen
P.S. take my hand and hold me tight.

10/1/08 Shine

Psalm 126 When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. 2.Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." 3. The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. 4. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev. 5.Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

When people go through a rough time they stop laughing, dreaming and get into a depressed state. But once God gets a hold of them, things change and they become who God intended them to be. They start to be themselves and shine the parts of themselves that they actually like.

God wants me to dream again. All my tears and sadness need to turn back into songs of joy and laughter. God will and keep doing great things in my life. And the life of everyone who follows God. He is faithful to the core; faithful to His children; to His instruments; to His people. He loves me and I will remain in Him.

Father,
I know you love me and want to do great things for me. You are the one who makes me smile and brings joy to my heart every single day. you are my everything and nothing and no one can take that away.

I love you Always
Amen

P.S. You make me laugh! :)

Rage

Luke 13:6-9 Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any.7.So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'8."'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it.9.If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.'"

God is the owner; Jesus the farmer; we the tree.

Jesus is fighting for me to stay in the game. He wants me to bear fruit and prosper. It hasn't taken me 3 years but it has been a year that I have been dry and not bearing any fruit but Jesus is telling His father giver her a little more time, she can do it, let me work with her. I know i have let Jesus down a lot but I want to take this year to grow with fruit and color. I want to take this year and be different for Him. I don't want to approach 2009 and be in the same situation. I want to rise from the ashes.

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light" Dylan Thomas

Lord,
I want to rage at the close of day. My day is not over. I will rise once again, I will rise from the abyss that i fell in and move forward to your path step by step. Forgive me for my sinning transgressions because I am sick and tired of that life. I will fight against the evil in front of me.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. Its time to Rage!

Core Center

Psalm 127:1-3 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves.3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

Everything we do should be done with a spiritual purpose. People work and work and all they get is tired. But God says He will grant us rest as long as we put Him in the equation. He made us His children because we are a reward from Him. Which is why this life can't be taken lightly.

This week has been great. Besides the dumb drama, i have woken up at 7:30 and walk around and prayed and was able to do my journal without rushing. I believe its been a good time because I put God in the middle. He became my purpose to wake up and keep going. He became my center once again.

Jesus,
Stay in my core center. Become my equation. I don't want to go back to who I was. I don't like who I was and what I was doing. I like me today and help me remain that way. I am yours Lord and always will b forever yours. God - I love you so much I never want to be away from you. Forgive me and have compassion on your child.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I am Yours Always!

Time to eat

Luke 8:53-55 They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead.54 But he took her by the hand and said, "My child, get up!"55 Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat.

Jairus was desperate to do something for his child. Jesus was his only hope. He knew he found the right man when he said she was only sleeping. When He rose her from the dead He said get her something to eat (that's the only reference of eating when Jesus raises someone from the dead). I know there was no full Bible available but i think Jesus wanted her to eat of His body and what He had to offer.

When i rise from the dead God wants me to get closer to Him. He wants me to read the word, pray, fast, spread the word more than before. When Jesus said get her something to eat it wasn't natural food He was talking about, but spiritual food filled with compassion, joy, and kindness. Jesus wanted her life to be better than before. Just like ours when He raises us for the ashes.

Father,
Raise me from the ashes of the devils fire. Keep me away from his wickedness and lies. I am yours today and forever. Take my hand and use it for your glory. I thank you for your love and majesty, for your glory over my life. Forgive me for my sins and the sins of my fathers. I bring my life to you as a sacrifice. Use me.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I feel you with me right now

9/24/2008 Just Give up

Psalm 84:1-2 How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

God constantly remains the same but we don't. Everyday something changes and we have to deal with it. Deal with the drama, the gossip, the hatred, the lies, the enemy. But that's the time when we should start giving up. Giving up ourselves and handing it over to God and give it back to Him. Everything that He has given to us just return it so He can put it all back in order.

v.10 Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

Just being close to God is my ultimate dream. I don't care if I'm cleaning toilets for Him, as long as I'm in His presence i all that matters. Being a garbage man in heaven is better than being a queen in hell. I never want to go back to hell or even close to it. I want to be near heaven as much as possible because not only my spirit longs for Him but my flesh is crawling to be with God.

Lord,
Thank you for your mercy upon my life. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins and loving me unconditionally. You are my everything and always will be. I bless you Father today, keep me close to you.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I feel you with me already, lets go conquer the world for You!

9/23/2008 Thank you for the Rain

Luke 6:46-49 "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?47 I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice.48 He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Jesus was teaching numerous people the important basics of following Him. Jesus only had a short time to teach as many people as possible, everything that He knew about life and how to live a righteous way. Many people were still confused about the true meaning of Messiah and what it meant to call on God. Jesus was a teacher with clear objectives-in this passage He tells of two ways of living: with or without a foundation. To call Him Lord we need a foundation because without it we will fall flat on our faces during the storm.

Jesus was talking about storms because they are everywhere. I have a storm about every week or 2 weeks. The devil wants to wash me out but my foundation is in Christ no matter where I am at in my walk. I'm not perfect nor righteous but my God has mercy and forgiveness and compassion for my soul. My God loves me more than anything in the word which is why i keep going with Him.

Father,
I thank you for the rain. And providing me with your umbrella. I love you with all that I am and all you have made me to be. Make today God a beautiful day full of wonders and surprises. Create in me God a new heart - a heart that yearns and aches for you only. You are my all in all.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I feel my love growing as I write this to you

9/15/08 Must be set free

Revelation 20:2-3 He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.
3.He threw him into the Abyss, and locked and sealed it over him, to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore until the thousand years were ended. After that, he must be set free for a short time.

The devil already knows his fate. People in this world are scared of whats coming next in life but Satan has read his future. He knows that all that he is doing now to torment us won't last forever. He is trying to do to us what God will do to him. He wants us in the abyss of hell and feel so down that we can't or won't get up. He wants us chained and locked in his hell because he knows God is going to do the same to him.

Satan leaves no one out of his hunt for prey. He wants God to suffer for His children and give up to Satan. But God already sealed Satans fate and even gave him a head start. but i have even done things the devil wants me to do. I have been to the abyss and been given over to my worldly desires. I really wish I was stronger so it didn't happen. But i know that its God who loves me; its God who sets me free; its God who breaks the chains; its God who has forgiven me.

20:10 And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

God,
thank you for giving me the security that the devil will get his. I know you are a God of justice and everything he has done will be thrown back at him. I love you Lord because you first loved me. I am your instrument, forgive me for my weaknesses and all those times I fell into the abyss. You are my Savior.
I love you Always
Amen

9/5/08 Eat it

Revelation 10:9-11 So I went to the angel and asked him to give me the little scroll. He said to me, "Take it and eat it. It will turn your stomach sour, but in your mouth it will be as sweet as honey."
10.I took the little scroll from the angel's hand and ate it. It tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach turned sour.
11.Then I was told, "You must prophesy again about many peoples, nations, languages and kings."

John saw and heard many things during this time that God was revealing to him the revelation. But here is proof that not everything was written down for the future to know. God was still leaving some mystery for us so we can remain seeking Him.

Imagine an angel telling me to eat a scroll? Even if he said it would taste good. I believe that John had to eat that scroll because what he needed to prophesy was on that scroll. He had to have the prophesy in him to really give the people what God had for them.

Lord,
many people in the Bible saw strange things and did strange things. I sit here wondering if i would question you if you asked me to do them. My prayer today is that when you call me I will answer, no questions asked. I know who you are and how much you love me. I know I trust you, therefore call out to me and show me what i need to know to move on with you.
I love you Always
Amen

8/19/2008 What about Him?

John 21:21-22 When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" 22Jesus answered, "If i want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.

Peter was a great disciple but he was always worried about other people. Jesus cares about your relationship with HIm, one on one. He doesn't want people to worry about those around you but how strong your relationship is with Jesus.

I'm like Peter except I don't voice too much of my concerns. I look at others a lot more than I look at myself. Its time to stop looking around and start looking forward to the eyes of Christ and how i want to be with Him not how others view me with Him.

Lord,
I want a one on one everyday with You. My life is not my own therefore I need you to help me to stop worrying about others. Keep me focused on you and guide me to make the right decisions.
I love you Always,
Amen

Stop doubting

John 20:24-25, 27 Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." 27 Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

The point of the cross was not for those people who saw it, were upset, than believed in how holy Jesus was but for those people who didn't see Him suffer and bleed. Jesus resurrected not for those who needed to see every little part of Jesus' history, but for those whose faith would lead them to beieve. For those who had to work a bit harder to know Jesus.

As a child I believed in Jesus easily because it was taught to me and thats what i knew growing up. But as an adult I had to decide for myself. I couldn't see the marks on Jesus' body but my faith had to kick in and than it became my choice, my life, my decision. And Jesus said "blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed"


Father,
I don't know how i would have been if I lived when you walked the earth. But i know you are still alive and remain holy in this place. You are the God of all that rules all and protects all. Rule my life, govern my world adn do your will here.
I love yo Always
Amen

8/5/08 You are my Breath

John 7:16-18 Jesus answered, "My teaching is not my own. It comes from him who sent me. 17 If anyone chooses to do God's will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own. 18 He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.

The pharisees were trying to catch Jesus doing something wrong but they wouldn't be persecuting Him if they really knew who God was. Jesus said if you follow the will of God you'll know the truth. Those people obviously didn't know the truth because it was sitting right in front of them and they were persecuting Him.

Reading the word, I usually don't know how i would react to Jesus, I pray that its not like the pharisees. As a Pastor I never want to talk with my own word even though I know I do at times. But since I know the truth, the truth will come out of my mouth.

Lord,
Give me your words, your truth, your vision, your wisdom. You are glorious above all and I choose to follow you because you are truth, and the life in me. Breathe in me every moment cause I cant breathe on my own.
I love you Always
Amen

8/3/08 Jesus' inheritance

John 5:22-23 Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son, 23 that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father, who sent him.

God has given His authority over to Jesus. As the Father He handed over his power to the son knowing that the son would need the power. As a human form of God Jesus took Gods authority and took it out of heaven and brought it to earth. Which is how heaven is allowed on earth.

God is the ultimate example as a Father. Everything He did for Jesus a human father should do for their son. Yes God put his perfection in Jesus as an inheritance just like fathers should give their sons.

Lord,
I pray for your divine inheritance in my life. You are my Father and I am your child. I will follow you all the days of my life.
I love you Always
Amen

7/31/08 The Father Alone

John 2:24-25 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. 2He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.

During this time men were seeing all what Jesus was doing and believing in Him because of the miracles but He still wouldn't give himself completely to man because of whats inside of man. Humans cannot be fully trusted and Jesus knew that, therefore He was cautious from beginning to end. He knew the good and the bad which is why He trusted solely in God to move forward.

I know my good and my bad, i also know of that of those around me which is why I need to be more like Jesus and trust in the Father alone. He didn't have to ask others about what they were thinking because He already knew. My focus has to remain in Christ not on man. My trust has to remain in Christ, my faith, my joy, my love, my passion, my will has to remain solely on the Father or I'll be just another confused Christian not doing anything with my life.

Father,
you know me better than anyone. you know where my heart lies and what i need most from you. You're my everything and my one and only and my one true love. Guide me everyday and never let go of my hand. I need you more now than ever before. Help me to be a better follower and servant. Close off the voices of man and open my ears solely on your voice.
I love you always
Amen

Gods Benefits

Psalm 103:2-5 Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

God is a God of benefits. He has a lot to offer His people: #1 forgives all sins - People are afraid to turn to God because they feel their sin is too much, but God is saying that He wants all sinners to turn to Him so He can forgive them.
#2 heals diseases - we have a chance to be healthy, but we first need to believe in His power.
#3 redeems your life - there are times when our lives are at the lowest but God is reacing His hand to pull us back up
#4 crown you with love and compassion - we first have to ask for forgiveness then he heals us picks us up - redeems the past and crowns us with His love
#5 gives us good things - then after the crowning He gives us back the energy and time we thought we lost

103:10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

God is not looking for much in return. After He gives me all His benefits, He just wants me to trust, love, worship, and follow Him. He won't punish me with lightening but He will show me when I am doing wrong. Gods benefits don't come with a contract I have to sign because Jesus signed it already with His blood so I can receive not only those benefits but all of Gods love, mercy, grace, and compassion.

Lord,
I know you have a lot in store for your children, And i choose to follow you because of your unconditional love for me. There are many things I need to change in my life God so please forgive me and renew my spirit like an eagles. Give me the energy and drive to keep going forward for You.
I love you Always
Amen.

All at Once

Hebrews 13:7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. 17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

Leaders have an all-together tough job. People, parents, spouses, and kids are always watching to make sure they don't mess up and say the right thing at all times. But its also hard as a disciple to almost put your life in someone elses hands like what if God tells them one thing but you feel God is telling you something else?

As a leader/pastor my life needs to be one that others can imitate and its not. At the moment I'm at such weird stage in my life that i don't wish this on anyone. I want everyone to be happy, peaceful, and just free. When i have those things all together at once i know I'll be the best leader. People will want to listen to me and follow my direction because I am ultimately doing the same thing with my leaders. Once I hear the voice of God and follow it than those following me will hear the voice of God through me and follow me.

Lord,
I have no power and authority outside of what you give me. I cannot take others to a deeper level if I am not at that level. lord, take me closer to you, closer to your word, closer to your voice, closer to your heart. I am a leader because you made me one. Keep me here God. I love this place because you trust me in this place. All I want to do is follow and obey you. I love you, you are my everything. Make me only Yours.
I love you Always
Amen

He sees me

Hebrews 6:10-15 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. 11 We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. 13 When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, 14
saying, "I will surely bless you and give you many descendants." 15 And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

God is not blinf to the works of man. I know its not as important as a mans heart but He sees all the hard work we do and doesn't let it be in vain. He also doesn't want us to stop our work but to keep going. He said don't stop what you started but finish it - keep going till the end because thats what He promised.

God made a promise to Abraham and He also made a promise to me. He promised that I would have a big dance team. God is telling me not to be lazy but to step up to the plate. I have to wait patiently and make sure that i can keep doing what God has promised. I have to go to the right authorities and make sure i still have a place where God first put me.

Lord,
Why are you so good to me? Why do you answer my call? I know you already answered these questions in your word and i will maintain myself with you. I know I have faltered in many areas but i want to keep going not because other people are trying to be against me but because you promised me. You spoke to me. You gave me that dream. And i want to keep doing your dream. i want to pursue you.
I love you Always
Amen

June 18- Some people have real problems

Colossians 4:2-3 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.

Everytime we're in prayer the first person we pray for is ourselves. Than we pray so much for ourselves we get tired and forget other prayers. God knows our hearts and has made us in a specific way. What He wants is to forget our needs for a second and think about those with real problems.

My problems are real to me and I suffer in a way that my neighbor may not suffer. But God still wants me to think about those around me whether their issues are smaller or bigger. My duty as a Christian and to be Christ like is to push me aside and put others ahead not only in public but in private as well. It's not always what others see but what God sees when others aren't looking.

Father,
Lately I've been selfish trying to fix my issues and not thinking about those around me. Lord, give me the heart to remember those less fortunate even if they are thousands of miles away. Give me the strength to keep going forward because I know you are the light at the end of my tunnel.
I love you Always,
Amen

June 17- Not Earthly Things

Colossians 3:5-7Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.

Being Single Paul knew the things men felt and essentially wanted. He knew the struggles of the inner man and knew how easy it was to fall into that trap. He didn't want the people of Colosse to be another church fallen into earthly sins when Paul could've given them easy rules to live by.

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Being young and single its hard to keep the earthly man inside. Its easy to remind myself that God will judge me but in the moment, thats not what I am thinking about. God tells me to set my mind on His word and His things because thats a strong weapon. I can set my mind on the right things and have a better life. My mind can determine my future as long as i think and know i can change than i can. I have to make Gods thoughts my thoughts. ANd when I do that I'll have success.

Lord,
you know my inner thoughts and feelings. You know my true heart. My mind is yours, help me to keep my thoughts on you forever. Forgive me God when I have forgotten about you. When i have forgotten aboput your word. Put in me a clean heart oh God and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
I love you Always,
Amen

Same Love

Philippians 2:1-2 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Paul knew what it was like to feel the presence of God. Even when it was a small sign like the feeling of joy or peace he knew God was alive and close. And with the big signs and little signs Paul wanted everyone to work in one spirit and purpose.

Philippians 2:12-13 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Sometimes when i meet someone or go to a conference and learn something that changes my life, I don't want to leave or when I'm going through a hard time I want to go back. But God isn't present in specific places, He is everywhere. And my salvation is a process - it doesn't reach the highest levek than everything is perfect. Every day I struggle and I have to work out my salvation through them - making sure I don't lose my cool or my testimony.

Father,
Your will is what I strive for. Your purpose is what I desperately want for me. ONly You know my next step and where I am going. Above it all I want to live in fear of You. I want to bow down to your feet and hear your voice. I want to feel your breath over me and your peace surround me. Lord, I know your alive and with me and in that I will be continuously happy because I will never be alone.
I love you Always
Amen

Fear God always

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Solomon was a man who was the wisest of them all. But even so, he was still a man. Going through struggles just like I am. And above all else, he found what he and I need to eventually do, "Fear God and keep His commandments" that's what it all comes down to. We could truly fear Him by putting His law in our hearts and letting it take us over or vainly fear Him and having His law in our minds - forgetting and remembering at our pleasure. Whichever it is Fear God is the whole duty of man - The reason of my existence.

Psalm 94:18-19 When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. 19
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

I sometimes go through things and have no idea what to do. Before this journal I asked God "tell me what to do!" And till this day I expect God to show Me a clear cut answer and when I don't get one I get even more confused. And I thought I didn't get one till now. Whatever I'm going through even if I don't know what the next step is all I have to do is Fear God and keep His commandments. And He will rescue me once I do that because that's what He has called me to do forever and always.

God-
There are times when I don't understand your message to me. And I don't know where to go. But above it all I will fear you and keep your commandments. That's is my duty - that's is why I am here. It is for you and only you everything is just extra. But you are my whole. Lord, keep talking to me - keep me close and let your love shine through me. Thank you for your unconditional love today and always. I believe in your call for me.
I love you Always
Amen

Guide me to whats Next

Proverbs 4:20-27 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21
Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. 23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. 24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. 26 Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. 27 Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

God gave us the 10 commandments to obey but He wasn't finished giving us ways to live. God used Solomon to bring wisdom to the people and me. He knew that giving us instruction directly from Him would start us on the right path. He wanted to be specific, so we can understand exactly what He was looking for. #1 God wants me to take care of my life and health. Gods word is life to my soul and food to my body without it i don't live. #2 I have to guard my heart from everything the enemy wants to do with it. If my heart is wrong so is the rest of me. #3 Whatever comes out my mouth is what I have inside. If my words are perverse - than so am I. #4 My eyes are what guides me to the next step. If I am blind to whats in front of me than I am blind to everything. #5 My feet are what keeps me leveled if they are not based strongly than I'll consistantly fall.

Proverbs 6:20-24 My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, 24 keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

Two chapters before God gave me what He wanted me to follow from Him and now He wants me to follow my parents teaching. Now my question as a 27 year old is how far does that go if you don't agree with everything? But also thats where maturity comes in on my part. I guess God is telling me to really be wise about the counsel i do follow because if i follow the wrong one than i could make the wrong life altering decision.


Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Father,
I know that no matter yesterday, today or tommorow You will always love me for my heart and my love for you. Search me oh God and see how faithful I want to be and will be. Others may not understand but you do.
I love you Always, Amen

Take out my Junk

Romans 2:!2 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law.

Romans 2:25 Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised.

Paul's letter to the Romans is a direct one. These people needed help in their walk with God because of everything they were seeing everyday. Paul wanted to be clear with them and show them the reality of life. If someone claims they were saved yet broke Gods laws they were not under God anymore. And that's how we need to take this scripture. Paul is not talking about circumcision alone, but about all those things we do to please God.

Romans 2:29 No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but from God.

Whatever I do to please God needs to come from my heart or else it doesn't matter. All I do needs to be done in love or its nothing. God wants my offering; my sacrifice. All has to come from the inside of me because that's where God can see the real me instead of all the junk man sees on the outside.

Lord,
Show me your will to keep going on the right path. I know you love me and want me next to you. Speak to me clearly so i can be right in your eyes. I want the real me to shine instead of all the junk that's in me. Take away my junk and be real to me. Help me to see the truth in my life, the way you see it.
I love you Always, Amen

My hands are Empty

Psalm 19:12-13 Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. 13
Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

Psalm 30:6-7 When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." 7 O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

There are times in my life that i go through seasons. Every season has a purpose - to get to the next season in success. I go throuhg certain things so God can try my heart to see where I stand. And when He knows I'm not ready for the next step He keeps me in that season until I am ready.

At one point in my life I knew that nothing could come against me. I was strong and ready for anything the devil through at me. but now, today, I feel like I walk on shaky ground. I feel like God has turned His face from me and I have to fend for myself. And I'm failing. I'm not doing the right things in His sight. I am "dismayed". Whenever a young girl or a friend comes to me with the same issue I give them words of encouragement. I tell them its not too late to turn to God. That they just have to ask for forgiveness and move on and stop doing their sin. But I am my worst enemy. It seems like I can't see myself the same way. But David gave an uplifting ending to the same thing he felt (v.12) that my heart may sing to you and not be silent; O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever

So no matter what I am going through or what I am doing I have to give thanks to my God. No matter how hard it is to see the joy in my sorrow - God will show it to me. As long as my heart sings only to Him forever.

Lord,
My hands are empty and my heart is down. I need you today more than yesterday. I need to see your face and hear your voice. Don;t turn away any longer. Show me the areas that I have to change. God, you give me life and breath which I am forever thankful for. Give me the strength to keep going in my walk that I choose the right path from this day forward. Forgive me of all sins in my heart and mind. I cannot hide anything from you. Cleanse me and Renew me today. Only you can do that.
I love you Always
Amen.

I Can't be Perfect

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 34:4-6 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. 6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

When serving God, He answers my cry when my heart is in the right place. God sees whats in the heart and wants to help those with a right heart. When a Pharisee would test Jesus, his heart was to see how far he could push Jesus. But someone like Mary Magdalene who needed Jesus with all her heart was heard by His ears.

I have to see out the Lord. I need to look for Him, search for His refuge. He has promised me peace, love, and joy but I have to look for it. I have to be the one who lays my whole heart on the line for Him. I can't just give Him 20% of me but my whole 100%. I have to be willing to give Him all that I have and all that I am. Without that God cannot and will not deliver me. Because if someone wants to change they have to be willing to change.

Matthew 5:44-46,48
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?

Lord,
I know you ask e to be perfect and I also know that's impossible. But I want to be better everyday. I want to know, hear, and see more of you. I need more of you. I sometimes don't know if I'm doing the right thing and I need more of your touch. Come touch my hear Father, touch my life. I need you more than ever. I am hungry for you God and ready for what you have to throw at me Lord. Show me the areas I need to change, but I ask be clear with me. I need to know its you 100%.
I love you Always, Amen.

What is God to me today?

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 59:16-17 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. 17 O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

God has many names to Him. The usual ones are Lord, Father but He is more than that. Being God comes being everything I need. David needed more out of God than a Father, he needed power, strength, and safety. At that moment God to him was him fortress, strength, and refuge.

What is God to me today? What do I need Him to be at this moment? Right now I need Him to be my friend, my ears, my eyes. I need Him to see what I can't see; to hear what i can't hear; to know what i don't know. Today I need God to be my food. I am starving for Him and I want to be filled with what He has. I want more, more, more.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

Lord,
Thank you for never leaving me. No matter what I've done or where I've been you never stay away. Renew me Lord every morning and make me into that person you believe in. I love you God and wouldn't be here without you. You are my all in all.
I love you always, Amen.

Heavens Storage

Psalm 49:16-20 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; 17 for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him. 18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed-- and men praise you when you prosper-- 19 he will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light [of life]. 20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish.

Even though King David was rich, he knew that it wasn't his world. He went through many trials in his life but he stood strong on one thing, the promises of God. God annointed him as king of Israel, no matter how impossible that looked at the moment and he lived among the rich, he saw what money could do to a person. He knew that money didn't gaurantee you a spot in heaven next to Jesus. He also knew that it won't make people happy.

As humans, we desire certian things and money is the first thing we want more of. Money is something we all need to survive in this world, but it won't get us through problems, it won't bring faith, it won't solve our emotional issues. Money is a temporary high, once you have it, you spend it than its all gone. Sometimes we are jealous of the rich because they don't even praise God for their wealth or give anything back to Him, and they remain rich for the rest of their lives. I see them all happy and like they have no care in the world. But there is something i don't know...their home life. I don't know whats going on inside of them because all i see is the surface.

When people have lots of money they have to be wise about it, if they're not they can lose it just as easy as they got it. Being smarter or better doesn't start with money, it starts with God. God gives me the knowledge that I need to keep going, He gives me the power, the discernment, the wisdom, the strength, the annointing to take the next step in life. I don't do my work because of the money, I do it cause i love it and i know thats where God wants me. I do it because thats where I want to be. There are many jobs that I can do that are easier and with a better pay, but I choose to be where God has called me. And if i get less money for it? Thats okay because my riches are stored in heaven.

Lord,
I know that I can see this world and not heaven so all i see are the riches in front of me. But I desire the riches in heaven. I desire to be next to you, I desire to know you better, to see you clearer, to hear you louder. I desire more of you and less of me. Help me to be that person you want me to be. Help me to see things that I am blind to. Make me into your holy instrument today and everyday. I love you Always,
Amen.

You're my Core

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is not something that we abuse to have more power and strength. It is not for us to take advantage of and use it for our glory. God is love, He is the ultimate love. He is the one I need to emulate and be like. He is the one that I should try to be like. There are many people that do me wrong and I feel like I don't want to love them or need to show them love, but as God says here "if i speak in tongues of man...but have not love, I am only a resounding gong..." My voice and words will mean nothing and have no sound if I don't speak in love.

Every time I speak and if it without love, than God doesn't here any of it. All He hears is a dong sound, something that has no meaning behind it. If I have not love for people every time i pray will be like a cling sound to God, all He will here is sound but no words to back it up. Love is what makes meaning in this world. I am here because of love, and if i don't show it than everything I have ever done anything that I ever do will mean nothing at all. My work, my heart, my sweat, my desires, my dreams will mean absolutely nothing if I have not love.

Without love I am nothing. I am just a mere being passing through this world if i don't have love. God gives me purpose, guidance, joy, and peace to go through this world. It is because of Him that I am here, and if i deny that, than I am denying my very existence. God is my everything, my existence, my being, my soul, my core. Without Him I am nothing.

Lord,
You are my core. You are my soul. You are my heart. You are my love. You are my everything. I live because you allowed me to, I breathe because you give it to me, I walk because you give me guidance. Father, show me real love, the love that you have so I can show it to everyone else. God, forgive me for those times when i didn't show your love because I want to everyday of my life. I want people to see you through me, use God today and everyday of my life.
I love you Always, Amen.

God's Wine

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Paul knew what it was like to be tempted. The Bible doesn't give too much detail of he was tempted, but if I just think about all the things he went through and how maybe some of the authorities wanted him to stop his ranting about Christ, so they probably bribed him in many ways.
When a parent wants their child to stop doing something, like crying, they bribe them with something, candy or something that they would be tempted to stop what they are doing to make peace in the home.
I can only imagine that the authorities most likely bribed him with money, women, a good life, opposite of what he was living. When someone is tempted it isn't by something that they wouldn't want. A single person can be tempted by a good looking person of the opposite sex. An alcoholic is tempted by a drink, a smoker with a cigarette.

When I am tempted its by the simple things that get me in trouble. A kiss, a hand, etc. Everyday I am tempted and everyday I fail to those temptations because in my mind they are simple things. Things that i think won't hurt me at the moment, but after when i think about it i know that the fattening foods won't make me any healthier. But even though i may fall, the word says that God has provided a way out so that i can stand up to that temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:21.You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord's table and the table of demons.

As temptations follow me, the demons want me and are cheering me on to take the temptation and run with it. And the Lord is trying to guide to make the right choice and follow Him and no one else. There is no in-between, I cannot live Gods life and fall into temptation every time. I need that self-control. I need to put my foot down and control my urges, control my body, control myself. When I have no control, my life spirals down. But when I have that control from the Holy Spirit, than my life makes sense and i don't feel guilty and bad.
I need to drink from the Lords cup, because that wine is fresh tasting and heals my inside, the moment i drink from the devils cup is the moment i can lose all that i am.

Lord,
This day I choose to drink from your cup. I don't want to drink the enemies wine, cause his has nothing for me but death. God, forgive me for trying to drink from both, you are patient and loving with me please have mercy on me because I can't do things on my own and I cannot live a double life. I take my mask off today and put it on your altar. I am all yours.
I love you Always
Amen

Especially Sex

1 Corinthians 6:12 "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything.

Sometimes we think there are things that we cannot do. Things that God doesn't want us to do, but that mentality is wrong. God wants us to do everything, experience everything, but within a point. Especially sex. Being 26 and single sometimes its hard to withstand everyday without feeling someone next to me or sleeping with someone. And some may think that God doesn't want us to have sex, that He doesn't care about our human desires. Theres a society mentality that sex is human nature, and it is ,
BUT <---- there is a line we cannot cross. Getting to know someone that you may like doesn't open the door to sex. God meant sex for marriage and marriage only.

I am not one to say that I have saved my self wholly and completely for my husband, and not because I didn't want to but because my flesh took me over. I was in wrong places with wrong people and doing wrong things. When you're alone in the dark with the person you like, there is a high temptation that something wrong will happen. That's why I always have to be careful where I'm at and with whom. I am barely learning that now! At 26 God is teaching me more wisdom.

"I will not be mastered by anything" God doesn't want my flesh to take me over again. This is the worst that could happen because once your flesh is in charge, your spirit takes a back seat. My body is mine and I am free to do what I want to it, but if I don't ask God His opinion of what I am doing, than there is no point to the Holy Spirit.


1 Cor. 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

This weekend is the celebration of Christ dying and resurrecting on the third day. His body and flesh was torn into pieces so that I may live a good life. So my flesh and body can be pure and renewed. He paid that price for me, He died for me, He lived for me, He resurrected for me....So what am I going to do for Him?

Lord,
You are my everything, you did it all for me. There is nothing you don't have but I offer you my heart this morning. I offer up all that I do have even though its not much, but the little I do have is yours. My body hasn't done the holiest things but I come before you in forgiveness to purify it and clean me and wash me from all those past sins against my body. My body is your temple and I want it clean and fresh so you can live in it. Thank you for living, dying, and rising back up for me.
I love you Always
Amen

5 Specific Things

Psalm 37:3-8 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

There are so many things in life that I worry about. There are little things and small things. I work myself up and than in the end it wasn't even worth all the worry. God wants me to have a joyful life doing 5 specific things.
1. Trust
When I trust in the Lord, He will give me a place of rest. He is my rock and refuge. When I allow Him to take over everything I worry about than He puts things in order and my life seem that much easier.

2. Delight
With all the pain and suffering in the world, there is enough things to worry about, but God wants me to delight within the sadness. When I have joy and just see all the good in the bad, than God can see the good in me and grant what is in my heart.

3. Commit
When I make a commitment to God He shows the world my heart. He shows them the goodness and the righteousness that shines when I follow Him. As I am committing to Him I am committing to this world and saying that I am not just another person that is living but I am a person that is committing to love and trust my God.

4. Be still
I sometimes have real patience and other days I worry about my self. In certain situations I can wait for hours and days for the answer without a worry, than other times I can't even wait 5 minutes. In each situation, God has implanted in my life I have to have real patience. Without it I can lose what God wants to speak to me about and if I am rushing (which I usually am) I will miss (and I know I have) the blessings that God wants to give me.

5. Refrain from evil
If I do evil things than I am an evil person. When I sin, I am a sinner. It's that simple, If I do good things I'm a good person. Whatever I do I am and will become. Those habits I involve myself in need to be good ones and ones that Christ can see and be proud of. He needs to see my heart and what I am all about. I have to show Him my heart and allow Him to take it over to show the world who I really am.

Father,
there are so many things that you want me to do and live. I want to live the way you have created me to. I know I fail and push you to the side with my excuses so i want you to know that I love you more than life itself, and I need you with all my heart and soul. I want you with me sitting next to me in every place that I am and just hold me during the rough times and give me the strength when I need it. I love you Always
Amen

He is not Finished

Galatians 4:6-9 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. 8 Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. 9 But now that you know God--or rather are known by God--how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

When we accept the life of a Christian, we have to know what that entails. Paul was talking to the Galatians very openly and sternly because he knew they knew better. He knew that there was more in them than just merely going back to their old sins. This is like us today, when something doesn't happen for us by God in the time we want it, we give up and go back to what was making us worse. We go back because we think thats what really made us happy. We think about the old happy times and forget about the bad times and go back to being miserable and feeling guilty. Paul wanted to remind them of those bad times, and have them remember what God has done for them, and that He is not finished.

God is not finished in our lives no matter how old or young we are, He is not finished until we take that last breath. Since we are Gods heirs we are no longer slaves. We no longer live the life we once did, and with that comes some things we have to change in our lives. Paul talks about the "weak and miserable principles" - this is not a specific list - but it is specific in our lives. What are my weak and miserable principles?
1. laziness
2. procrastination
3. pride
4. excuses


Deuteronomy 23:21-23 says, If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the Lord your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. 22But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be guilty. 23Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the Lord your God with your own mouth.

So instead of saying God I promise I'll change, I'll never be the same again...I know I have to be realistic, if I know that I won't be so strong, I should say "God change me, and I want to change for you" I don't want to promise God anything I can't keep. I can't be the way I was, I have to move forward, claim my inheritance in God and never look back.

Lord,
Look into my heart and if there is something wrong, show it to me. Change me God into someone I can be proud of and someone You can be proud of. Be all for me, cause all I need is You. Father, help me through the storms, clouds, and rain. You are my Savior and Love. Keep me close to You always.
I love you Always, Amen

Just like Jesus

Psalm 43:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

David was going through troubled times during this psalm. Before this he wrote to God "Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" He was troubled from the inside out. Just Like Jesus was when He was about to be taken form the betrayer, all his insides and outsides were shaking and disturbed. David didn't know where to go or what to do, but to sit there and let God know how he really feels.

As Christians sometimes we think its okay to hide our true feelings from God because He just wants to hear whats on the surface. But we forget that He doesn't even see the surface but listens to our hearts. He knows the deepest feelings we feel and wants to comfort them. Thats why He says that He is our Rock and Refuge nothing can come against Him. And David knew that, his body and spirit were battling, his mind would tell him to worry while his spirit told him to trust. Thats why his voice was talking to his soul, the deepest part of him saying don't you worry just trust in God.

When every part of our lives trusts in God we can live in peace even when the worst things around us are happening. David didn't know why Saul wanted to kill him, he was just being what God had planned for him, but he had to run away. Men try to bring us down without listening to Gods voice, but when we are being attacked the only place we need to run are into Gods arms.

Lord,
Open your arms to me this day and help me to seek you more and more. I know there are many areas in my life that I need to change and fix but I ask you right now don't give up on me. Love me forever, because I'll need you forever.
I love you Always
Amen.

If Only

Psalm 28:1-3 To you I call, O Lord my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. 2 Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place. 3 Do not drag me away with the wicked, with those who do evil, who speak cordially with their neighbors but harbor malice in their hearts

God knows the true hearts of the people. He knows what they are really like, even if they hide the truth from everyone else. Only God can answer our cries for help, only He can show us the truth of others and of ourselves. David was crying out for mercy because he was afraid of those coming after him. Everyday the enemy wants to come after us and persecute us and make us feel guilty and bad for every thing we have done. But once we call out to God He will answer us and make us feel at peace because He is our protector from evil.

Psalm 28:6-7 Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Even if David didn't see results he believed in God and what He was capable of. When we cry for help not only should we believe in action but we need to believe in heart because God knows our hearts. When He sees that our hearts are in the right place than He will answer what we are asking. If our hearts are wrong and we ask, He won't answer because we're not truly believing. If we truly believe its with all our hearts and we can see the future changing in our mind as well, and live at peace believing that God will change everything.

Lord,
Examine my heart and see what it really is. Take out all the bad and make me known as someone who is true and holy before you. I am not perfect and sin everyday but I want to live a pure life and be at peace with you forever.
I love you Always, Amen

On the Inside

Mark 4:11-12 He told them, "The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12 so that, "'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!'"

Jesus wanted his disciples to know the secrets because He was not going to be there for them to explain every little thing. He needed them to know all there was so they would be able to go out and teach how He was teaching. People on the outside of Christianity can read the Bible but not understand it. They can hear a sermon and not be touched, see a miracle and not care. And thats what Jesus was talking about the people on the "outside". Because if those people were on the inside than they would be perceiving, understanding, and want forgiveness. God has called everyone but not everyone has chosen to listen to that calling. Which means they have chosen not to understand everything God has given to them.

The Pharisees wanted to know more about Jesus but their minds were closed. They wanted to hear what suited them therefore they were not able to hear everything God was trying to tell them. Many people are like that today, ignorant and closed-minded. They want to learn more about God but they want to do it their way, the way that they feel comfortable with. They want to be a Christian but don't want to go to church, They want to be a leader but don't want to listen to an authority, they want to serve but only the places that they can be seen. God wants us to fulfill His calling and be ready for anything. Thats what it means to be on the inside.

Lord,
Thank you for putting me on the inside, i know if i was on the outside i would be lost and blinded by the world. You have always been gracious to me and i cannot even begin to comprehend why or even give back what you have given to me. You are the highest God above all the world and there is absolutely no one like You.
I love you Always, Amen.

Surrender

Acts 21:11-14 11 Coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, "The Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jews of Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.'" 12 When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. 13 Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." 14 When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, "The Lord's will be done."

Things happen in our life because God permits it. He has told us that our walk with Him will not be an easy one but it will be rewarding. Paul had no fear for his life. He knew at any time he could die. He knew that the way he was going to die was a harsh one, but he was ready because he trusted God in everything. He knew the cause for his death would be one of purpose not one in vain. Paul didn't care about people feeling bad for him, all he wanted was for them to know Christ and have a relationship with him. He knew his purpose in life and was living it to the full extent, there was nothing that would stop him.

Our lives need to be put in Gods way so we can also know His will for our lives and live it to the fullest extent. God has plans for us, plans to prosper, to live, to love, to have joy, to give, to receive, but the only way we can know those plans is if we surrender all to him. All that hinders us in knowing Him. Surrender all that keeps us away from hearing His voice. God has called us to do bigger things, bigger than what our minds can think of and handle. He wants us to go to higher places and know more things. To learn more about Him and this world so we can go out and reach all those people that don't know Him.

God,
There are things in my life that i think that are hindering me, but i don't know if its me that thinks that or if its you telling me. Lord, be clear with me today so i can put those things in your hands and get rid of all distractions and hinderances. I want to know you more intimately and seek your face more often. You are God in the heavens and the God in my heart. Rule my heart like you rule heaven.
I love you Always
Amen