Clothes

Job 30: 18 In his great power God becomes like clothing to me ; he binds me like the neck of my garment.

Job was coming to the end when things were getting really bad and he didn't know if he could take anymore. God was allowing suffering and it wasn't going away, the pain was like an itch he couldn't scratch. Gods suffering wasn't leaving Job no matter what.

Some people would love to live this specific verse - God just not going away - Him just embraces us with His power. But it wasn't good happy peaceful power it was suffering power. Whatever God brings us we need to deal with it but with Him - not by ourselves. God wants to embrace me with His good power.

Lord,
your power is mighty, strong, and just. Wrap yourself around me and keep me close through good or bad times. I forever love you
Amen

11/5/09 GPS

Job 28:23-28 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
24 for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. 25 When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, 26 when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, 27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it. 28 And he said to man,'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "

During Jobs testing he was being taught more than he knew before. Even though healing would've was what he wanted the most it was wisdom that he needed and wisdom that he gained. When he was being mocked by his friends, he in turn was teaching them something. He was teaching them the importance of wisdom and what it truly means.

At times i believe i am using wisdom than i don't know what it was. Its hard for me at times lately to know the difference anymore. I get confused all the time, doubt myself, my decisions, i do things i know are 100% wrong - i just know I'm not my true self anymore and i don't know how to get it back. Fearing God is a start and through that He'll show me certain things. I don't know where to start to show Him that i do fear Him (this is my confusion)

Lord,
I was a different place once.A place of peace and freedom but I'm far away from there and i want to go back. I want to live there, eat, drink, love you there. I am changing and i don't like it and neither do you. Please draw closer to me, send me a map to your place. Guide me to you. I forever love you
Amen

My Growl

Job 27:2-6 "As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul, 3 as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, 4 my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit. 5 I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. 6 I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.

Job knew who was making him suffer, he knew who made him lose his family, his friends, his reputation. But within all the sadness and pain he could've turned away and cursed God but instead he believed even more. When things got worse his faith for stronger, when people cursed him he stood upright and worshipped God. When his flesh could've taken over he made his spirit stronger.

So many times as humans we blame God for the bad things that happen. We are so fast to point fingers instead of lifting our hands in worship and not allowing the world to take us over.

Mark 15:31-32 In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! 32Let this Christ, this King of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe." Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

I am easy to point fingers too instead of praising God for his presence in me. I do what the world expects me to but God wants me to defeat the world and not be like them. Change the way i think, the way i live, the way i am. Change dramatically where the world doesn't understand me, but so God knows I'm totally his.

Lord,
I'm totally yours. Look at my heart and change it drastically. I'm seeking you, your answers, your love, your peace. You.
I forever love you
Amen

Emotional Decisions

Mark 14:29-31 Peter declared, "Even if all fall away, I will not." 30"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times." 31But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.

Peter was a man who spoke before he thought. He was an emotional man that loved Jesus with all his heart. He would've done anything for Him. Yet being emotional he tends to make decisions and say things to make him look and feel better.

v.67-68
When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. "You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus," she said. 68But he denied it. "I don't know or understand what you're talking about," he said, and went out into the entryway.

When Peter was with Jesus, he was on His side. When Peter was with the crowd, he was on their side.

v. 72c
And he broke down and wept

Peter was confronted and repentant. I am like Peter. I am emotional and sometimes just go with the flow without making sure what I'm saying is 100% true. I have told God so many times, I'll pray everyday, I'll read the word everyday if you do this for me. Knowing God is not making deals its about love and relationship. Maybe I'm still Simon and sometimes Peter. But after his denial he still made stupid decisions because though he was Jesus' disciple he wasn't perfect but he was repentant.

Lord,
This life is a tough one and decisions are made everyday. I want to be a Peter and not a Simon and only through you can i be stronger and wiser. Plant my feet God and keep me firm because only you can give me the strength to move mountains.
I forever love you
Amen

No I haven't

Job 23: 10-12 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. 11 My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. 12 I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread

Job was a man of integrity, he was firm, straight, proud, humble. This man knew what it was ro follow God, He knew how to find God and loved doing it. He had faith in what God was doing in his life and stood his ground against anyone that came against him.

How many people can truly say they stand upright before God? How many can say they live like Job? Not many. I read this scripture and think i haven't closely followed his steps, i haven't kept his way, I haven't remained close to his commands, I haven't treasured his words.

No matter how much i wish i was like Job or no matter how much i wish i was like what people think i am, I'm not. I am indecisive, confused, lazy, and fearful. All things God doesn't want me to be. I yearn for all that to change and all i can do is wait for God to touch my spirit and change my weaknesses.

Lord,
You know the depths of my heart. You know the good the bad the ugly and the dirty. Please change my heart Oh God and make it ever new. I need your strength cause mine is gone. The strength to know your will before mine or anyone elses. The strength to make those hard decisions when i am fragile. Only you can help me.
I forever love you
Amen

Securing my childrens future

Job 21: 7-9, 12-15
Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power? 8 They see their children established around them, their offspring before their eyes. 9 Their homes are safe and free from fear; the rod of God is not upon them. 12 They sing to the music of tambourine and harp; they make merry to the sound of the flute. 13 They spend their years in prosperity and go down to the grave in peace. 14 Yet they say to God, 'Leave us alone! We have no desire to know your ways. 15 Who is the Almighty, that we should serve him? What would we gain by praying to him?'

Job was being mocked by his friends and wanted to prove something to them. That yes whoever doesn't follow God may seem like they have a better life. It looks good from the outside and they seem happier and get more worldly wealth. But Jobs point was in v. 16
But their prosperity is not in their own hands, so I stand aloof from the counsel of the wicked.

See, what Job knew was that those people got their wealth from God without knowing it. And it could be taken away just as easy.

v. 19 It is said, 'God stores up a man's punishment for his sons.' Let him repay the man himself, so that he will know it!

Some men don't see their sin while living in the wrong because it is passed down to generations and that is even worse than being able to deal with your own unbelief.

With God i could give my children a good future. I'd rather be like Job and have God bring punishment on my life than have my children pay for my sins. That's why its better to live a God fearing life because i can guarantee my unselfishness will pay off and my children can have a peaceful life.

Lord,
thank you for making it possible for me children to live in peace. Show me the areas to work on so i can deal with them now and guarantee my future a good life with you. Even if i have to go through pain, i will because my future is more important to be with you than without you.
I forever love you
Amen

My God

Job 19: 25-27 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. 26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; 27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

Job had a special relationship with God. Job knew he did nothing wrong but was going through his turmoil for something. He didn't give up on Gods superior purpose and knew that one day he would see God in his own way.

Everyone sees God differently. Some may see Him as a Savior, or Father, or Friend, or Everything. We each have a different relationship and will one day see God through our own eyes. Some will be excited, others fearful.
I am 50/50. I want to be with God and just worship Him. To be in His presence, loving Him, singing to Him, knowing Him. Yet though there have been struggles and difficulties, i want to get married, see what my children look like, my grandchildren. Teach them about how great God is. I want to accomplish great things and show that i can do it. A part of me feels that's selfish but its honest.

Lord,
I'm here. I want to be with you, worship you, know you. But i have to first do it on earth. You're giving me the chance and i want to take it. God, show me what i am blinded to and make me a stronger person, woman, Christian. When i am with you, i don't want unfinished business. I want me life to be wrapped up in you.
I forever love you
Amen