Melissa's Life Journal

I love God more than anything in this world. I am not perfect and mess up from time to time. Though my heart is true and He knows it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

More Love

1 John 3:10-11;21-22 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. 11This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
21Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

Our hearts have to be right before God with love. Love for our neighbors. That love will take us to a place where people could see we are children of God and with that love anything we ask will be ours. As well as seeing the love in us, others can see how much we love Christ by what He is doing in us.

Its easy to determine if someone loves God or not if I have discernment or wisdom. But what if I don't? Than how can I tell? God makes it easy for me by seeing peoples actions. See if they really love their brother and if they are a child of God or not.

God, I want to only surround myself with people that I can learn from and help. Give me that strong discernment to see who is your child or not. I want to love my brothers and sisters as you love them. Give me more love and compassion because I know that I need it.
I love you. Amen.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Anointing Fall on Me

1 John 2:27 As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit--just as it has taught you, remain in him.

Gods anointing teaches us everything we need to know about Him. His anointing doesn't come and go, it stays because that is what God uses to speak to us. With the anointing the Holy Spirit can work and speak to me directly because I am willing and open for Him.

God will continuously speak to me if I keep on receiving His anointing. I have His anointing already and He is being clear to me by instructing me on the things of life. If i remain in Him the anointing remains fresh. It won't leave me, it just may get old and untouched.

Lord,
remain in me. remain instructing and speaking to me. With your love and mercy I remain in you. Draw me closer to you and always speak clearly to me. I want to hear your voice and live by your word. Let your anointing fall on me always.
I love you. Amen.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Do you love me?

John 21:15-17 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." 17The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

Jesus wanted to make sure that Peter and the rest of the disciples knew what it was to love Christ. It wasn't to die for Him or to do something crazy, but all He wanted them to do was to: 1. Feed His sheep - proclaim the gospel so all could hear and 2.Take care of His sheep

As a leader and Pastor these are the two things I have to focus on. This is what my ministry entails. God is calling me to do these things and do it with all my heart, mind, and soul. This has to be a part of me, a part of my daily walk, to take care of these people spiritually.

God, I want to change this part of me. I want this to be me. I want to feed and take care of the sheep. You have called me to do that, so give me the strength to keep going and being who you've called me to be.
I love you. Amen.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I want to be Blessed

Psalm 112:1-3,7-8
Praise the Lord, Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. 2His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3Wealth and riches are in his house and his righteousness endures forever.
7He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. 8His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

Following and listening to God is hard when voices on the earth are telling me otherwise. But God promises me here that I will be blessed. And not only me but also my children and I will be rich on earth and filled with righteousness. If i take trust in Him that I will also be strong within myself. I will be confident in Gods word and will be ahead of my enemies.

God makes many promises. And He is the only one that can keep each of them. But i have to do one little thing. I have to trust in God and once I do all my fears will pass away because its not me taking care of them, its Him.

God, I want to trust you with all my heart and soul. I put all my fears and desires in your hands. I want to be blessed by you and refuse any curse over my life. My strength lies in you and not the flesh. i thank you for being the powerful God you are. I love you, Amen.

8/15/07 "Shout it out"

Jeremiah 20:9 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name, his word in in my hear like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed I cannot."

Holding Gods word in is not an option. Even if i wanted to hide Christ, its not possible for me. God has consumed me, all of me and that cannot be silent, nor was it silent in Jeremiah. No matter how weary or doubtful he was about prophesying and how fearful he was about his enemies, he spoke. He opened his mouth and allowed God to work through Him.

I have doubts, fears, wearies and questions about God, ministry, His power and will over my life. But it is impossible for me to stay silent about God. It is me and who I am. God has made me His and when I open my mouth. Its the words of the Lord that come out.

Lord, You are in me and with all my junk. I ask that you remain in me. You know my deepest desires in my heart and all my fears but with all that, take it and make it my strength. Every time I open my mouth, make them your words and not mine. I love you. Amen

8/14/07 "Flesh Stinks"

Jeremiah 17:5-6 This is what the Lord says, "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. 6He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives

God will curse me if I don't trust in Him. My flesh will always fail me, but God is always there. If I don't trust in Him, my life will be dry always looking for the next waterfall that is not there

My life has to be entrusted in the hand and will of God. No matter how scared or fearful I am of man. My life has to be lived by God. Flesh and man, no matter who they are, is merely flesh. But God is the One who puts my life in order and leads me to the right path when man tries to lead me to his path.

Lord, Only you truly know whats in my heart and the things I desire. Keep my eyes and ears focused only on you and make me attentive to you. You are my God, my Father, and my King. Guide me to the right path. Give me strength through criticisms of man and the power to keep going in your will and path for my life. You are the true God and Lord of my life. I love you. Amen

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Wisdom

Proverbs 9:10-12 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11 For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. 12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."

-There are many things in life that we need that are not materialistic
-We need wisdom to go throughout life, we also need discernment and a conscience
-God brings wisdom into our lives only when we fear Him
-When we revere God and exalt Him and do everything for His glory and might than wisdom will start in our lives
-We have to fear God because that means we trust Him and when we trust Him than we can see things for what they are not
-wisdom is the ability to discern inner qualities and relationships...when we do this than we can know who we are and who we spend our time with
-with wisdom we can make the right choices in our lives and live the life according to Gods will and not our own
-Wisdom is not a bad thing, God says that He will reward the wise, b/c once we make the right decisions than our lives will be joyful and peaceful
-Peace brings a long life because we are not worried about anything
-All our trust goes into God and we don't doubt in Him

-Wisdom brings understanding which brings trust which brings peace

God,
Thank you for bringing wisdom into my life. I can begin to make the right choices because wisdom is in me and start living in peace. You are a peaceful God and I love you because you made me this way. Thank you for your constant love and joy and in my heart that you bring. You are my God and I can't shouting and exalting your name on high. I love you, Amen.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I know my Sheep

John 10:9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.
v.14 I am the good Shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me

-Jesus was talking to the people who didn't believe that He was the Messiah
-They didn't care they just wanted a reason to kill Him because of everything He was saying
-Jesus knew who He was and needed to let the people know, whether they believed Him or not
-People needed to know how to get to the Father and the only easy was through Jesus
-Jesus was saying this in a metaphorical way, that they had to believe in the Son to get to the Father
-That's what the people didn't understand because it was something new that they were learning, and some people didn't want to accept it, b/c they liked their old way of living

-With Jesus everything is new
-He brought a new law, covenant and a new way of living
-A way of living that is tough at times, but its worth it
-A way of living that includes prayer, fasting, loving, compassion, forgiveness, joy - many things that we are not used to
-Jesus wants us to live a life that is opposite of the world - the world is full of hate, violence, & judgement - But living like Jesus means living out of the norm

-If Jesus is the gate and the Shepherd and i need to know where that gate is and i have to get to know the Shepherd
-I have to find the gate by reading the word and knowing what it says and means
-I have to find the Shepherd by knowing Him personally and intimately
-I need to talk to Jesus more than anyone, and that it a hard task...b/c Jesus is not physically in front of me - But that's also where my faith comes in
-I have to have faith that i can see Jesus physically and have an intimate relationship with Him
-My biggest weakness is prayer, even though i want to do it, I don't, but God still has incredible mercy over my life and every time i get into prayer I can feel His presence
-I can feel His presence over me all the time
-I bring Jesus with me everywhere b/c without His guidance I am lost

God,
Help me to be a better person and sheep. I want to find the gate and know the edges and the handle. I want to know the shepherd intimately where i can speak to you and feel you right away. I want to know you everyday and I know I have failed so many times in that area, Father don't give up on me. And I know I have said that many times, I don't want to fail you, I don't want to reject you, I don't want to lose my faith in you. You have all the answers and have all the love, which is why I want to give my all to you. To seek you and know you.
I love you. Amen

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Make me Right

John 8:10-11 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, sir" she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

-Even in this classic Bible story of forgiveness God makes His point very clear
-We have no right, whatsoever, to condemn or judge anyone else
-We are all sinners, have made bad choices, gone the wrong route, and yet God still forgives us
-Its as easy as getting on our knees and asking for forgiveness
-Mary stood before everyone with her sin in front of her, being confronted in front of all and she remained standing
-She must have been ashamed but at the same time making excuses in her head about why she was doing what she was doing
-Mary is a classic Bible figure of true forgiveness and repentance

-So many things in my life have gone on and sometimes i feel guilty about my past and even my present at times
-I feel like i do the wrong things and when i do them or even think about them i feel horrible
-I feel like the worst person in the world
-I feel like my bad decisions are the reason many things are not given to me or sometimes I feel that God is punishing me for my wrong doings
-But I also know that is just the enemy wanting me to stay behind, he doesn't want me to excel in the things of God because that means more souls would be saved
-He wants me to be lazy and be the worldly single girl
-He wants me to quit my job and step away from God
-He wants me to lie about my insides and hode myself from everyone
-All those things i'm fighting against on my inside are from the enemy because God doesn't make me struggle...He gives me peace
-God is a God of peace and love, and it is easy for Him to forgive because He loves me
-He created me out of love and compassion and that is how i will remain living

God,
I need your guidance God. I need to know you better and hear your voice. Lord, forgive me for my sins and my gulty feelings because i know they are not from You. I know that all you do is bring peace, joy, and love into my life and thats all i want to feel. I want anything from the enemy that is hindering my life to leave my body this instant. You are a God of forgiveness, and I ask you for forgiveness right now. Forgiveness for my thoughts, for my heart, and for my body. Make me right before you Lord.
I love you, AMen.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Remain in You

John 3: 5-7 Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.'

-So many people have there different versions of getting into heaven.
-They all want to feel good about themselves and about their deeds...deeds will not get us next to Jesus
-Deeds will not bring me to the feet of Jesus
-To truly go to heaven I have to be born of the Spirit and the water
-There are 2 baptisms 1. Water 2.Spirit
-The 1st baptism is to symbolize the forgiveness of sins (flesh sins) - we were born of the flesh and this symbolizes us stepping away from the things of the flesh
-The 2nd baptism in the Spirit is speaking in tongues, receiving the Holy Spirit in our lives and symbolizes stepping into the things of the Spirit
-To go to heaven we have to be Spirit filled b/c it is a place of Spirituality and Spirit worship and Spirit living
-If I am not Spirit filled or living in the Spirit I cannot live among those people

John 3:20-21 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God

-When we are in the light, we are in the Spirit
-The darkness hates the spirit because it exposes all that we are trying to hide
-When we are filled with Spirit there is nothing to hide, we don't live in the darkness
-We live in the truth because the truth sets us free and we want to be free to live a happy life

John 3:30-31 He must become greater; I must become less. 31The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is from the earth belongs to the earth and speaks as one from the earth. The one who comes from heaven is above all.

-My Spirit must become greater than my flesh
-Everything from the spirit is greater than things on this earth
-I have to live that way, that my spirit is greater and seeking those things of the spirit
-My flesh must be buried and kept under because it won't stop trying to overrule my spirit
-But if i remain in the spirit than the spirit will remain stronger and the light will constantly shine in my life


God,
Keep my light shining. I don't want to live in the flesh any more. The world wants to take me over and use me for its glory but i know i may fail at times, but know that my dedication remains in you. I was baptized in water and spirit therefore i want to be in you. I didn't do those things because i had to but because i wanted to. I want to be with you, I want to remain in you and worship you with all that i have and all that i am. You know my heart Lord, look in it because you will find that desire and passion to stay at your side and at your feet. I love you. Amen