You Alone

Romans 2:28-29 A man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. 29 No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but from God.

Paul wanted the Romans to realize what it meant that God knows our hearts. That its not how one looks or presents himself before people but who he is when alone with God.

Putting on a Christian good girl mask is easy. You wake up get ready and go. Smile when needed, have manners, look good with clothes and cars but once i go home its a different story because that's when I'm alone. Alone with God. Alone with my thoughts, Alone with my actions. Alone with me. When I'm alone that's when I'm me. Cause God can hear and see it all. He sees the pain, the misery, the confusion, the frustration. And understands why I'm not always joyful and free. But whatever i do, He also knows where my heart is - the part no man can see or feel. God knows my true love for Him even when i sin and disobey. He loves me beyond my weaknesses and allows me to remain in Him.

Lord,
Thank you because your the only one who understands. You're the only one who looks beyond, who doesn't judge but simply loves. You see the heart, not the face and still have your arms wide open. Forgive me for letting me weaknesses take over and not being stronger. You are the only one who truly knows me.
I forever love you
Amen

Like Jesus without Christ

1 Corinthians 13:1,3 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing

Paul knew that love was the central ingredient to everything we do for God. Every ministry, word, prayer, gift is centralized by Love. And without it nothing would work.

God is love. So without God everything is meaningless. If i try to save a soul but have not live it's worthless on my part. If i try to pray but don't love I'm just babbling. People feel so good when they give to the poor but without love that feeling has no substance. everything i do has to have substance. God is my substance. God is my love. A body without water is drowning, a person without air is choking, a person without a heartbeat is dead. Works, faith without love is useless. Its like Bert without Ernie, Louis without Vuitton, Homer without Marge, cereal without Milk - meaningless.

Lord,
Without you what i do , every step, every word, every thought is nothing. Let me love for you pour out in all that i do. Let that love be what people see. Take me away and show yourself more and more. Reveal yourself to your people so we can live and be more like you.
I forever love you
Amen

Clothes

Job 30: 18 In his great power God becomes like clothing to me ; he binds me like the neck of my garment.

Job was coming to the end when things were getting really bad and he didn't know if he could take anymore. God was allowing suffering and it wasn't going away, the pain was like an itch he couldn't scratch. Gods suffering wasn't leaving Job no matter what.

Some people would love to live this specific verse - God just not going away - Him just embraces us with His power. But it wasn't good happy peaceful power it was suffering power. Whatever God brings us we need to deal with it but with Him - not by ourselves. God wants to embrace me with His good power.

Lord,
your power is mighty, strong, and just. Wrap yourself around me and keep me close through good or bad times. I forever love you
Amen

11/5/09 GPS

Job 28:23-28 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
24 for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. 25 When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, 26 when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, 27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it. 28 And he said to man,'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "

During Jobs testing he was being taught more than he knew before. Even though healing would've was what he wanted the most it was wisdom that he needed and wisdom that he gained. When he was being mocked by his friends, he in turn was teaching them something. He was teaching them the importance of wisdom and what it truly means.

At times i believe i am using wisdom than i don't know what it was. Its hard for me at times lately to know the difference anymore. I get confused all the time, doubt myself, my decisions, i do things i know are 100% wrong - i just know I'm not my true self anymore and i don't know how to get it back. Fearing God is a start and through that He'll show me certain things. I don't know where to start to show Him that i do fear Him (this is my confusion)

Lord,
I was a different place once.A place of peace and freedom but I'm far away from there and i want to go back. I want to live there, eat, drink, love you there. I am changing and i don't like it and neither do you. Please draw closer to me, send me a map to your place. Guide me to you. I forever love you
Amen

My Growl

Job 27:2-6 "As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul, 3 as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, 4 my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit. 5 I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. 6 I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.

Job knew who was making him suffer, he knew who made him lose his family, his friends, his reputation. But within all the sadness and pain he could've turned away and cursed God but instead he believed even more. When things got worse his faith for stronger, when people cursed him he stood upright and worshipped God. When his flesh could've taken over he made his spirit stronger.

So many times as humans we blame God for the bad things that happen. We are so fast to point fingers instead of lifting our hands in worship and not allowing the world to take us over.

Mark 15:31-32 In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! 32Let this Christ, this King of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe." Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

I am easy to point fingers too instead of praising God for his presence in me. I do what the world expects me to but God wants me to defeat the world and not be like them. Change the way i think, the way i live, the way i am. Change dramatically where the world doesn't understand me, but so God knows I'm totally his.

Lord,
I'm totally yours. Look at my heart and change it drastically. I'm seeking you, your answers, your love, your peace. You.
I forever love you
Amen

Emotional Decisions

Mark 14:29-31 Peter declared, "Even if all fall away, I will not." 30"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times." 31But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.

Peter was a man who spoke before he thought. He was an emotional man that loved Jesus with all his heart. He would've done anything for Him. Yet being emotional he tends to make decisions and say things to make him look and feel better.

v.67-68
When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. "You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus," she said. 68But he denied it. "I don't know or understand what you're talking about," he said, and went out into the entryway.

When Peter was with Jesus, he was on His side. When Peter was with the crowd, he was on their side.

v. 72c
And he broke down and wept

Peter was confronted and repentant. I am like Peter. I am emotional and sometimes just go with the flow without making sure what I'm saying is 100% true. I have told God so many times, I'll pray everyday, I'll read the word everyday if you do this for me. Knowing God is not making deals its about love and relationship. Maybe I'm still Simon and sometimes Peter. But after his denial he still made stupid decisions because though he was Jesus' disciple he wasn't perfect but he was repentant.

Lord,
This life is a tough one and decisions are made everyday. I want to be a Peter and not a Simon and only through you can i be stronger and wiser. Plant my feet God and keep me firm because only you can give me the strength to move mountains.
I forever love you
Amen

No I haven't

Job 23: 10-12 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. 11 My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. 12 I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread

Job was a man of integrity, he was firm, straight, proud, humble. This man knew what it was ro follow God, He knew how to find God and loved doing it. He had faith in what God was doing in his life and stood his ground against anyone that came against him.

How many people can truly say they stand upright before God? How many can say they live like Job? Not many. I read this scripture and think i haven't closely followed his steps, i haven't kept his way, I haven't remained close to his commands, I haven't treasured his words.

No matter how much i wish i was like Job or no matter how much i wish i was like what people think i am, I'm not. I am indecisive, confused, lazy, and fearful. All things God doesn't want me to be. I yearn for all that to change and all i can do is wait for God to touch my spirit and change my weaknesses.

Lord,
You know the depths of my heart. You know the good the bad the ugly and the dirty. Please change my heart Oh God and make it ever new. I need your strength cause mine is gone. The strength to know your will before mine or anyone elses. The strength to make those hard decisions when i am fragile. Only you can help me.
I forever love you
Amen

Securing my childrens future

Job 21: 7-9, 12-15
Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power? 8 They see their children established around them, their offspring before their eyes. 9 Their homes are safe and free from fear; the rod of God is not upon them. 12 They sing to the music of tambourine and harp; they make merry to the sound of the flute. 13 They spend their years in prosperity and go down to the grave in peace. 14 Yet they say to God, 'Leave us alone! We have no desire to know your ways. 15 Who is the Almighty, that we should serve him? What would we gain by praying to him?'

Job was being mocked by his friends and wanted to prove something to them. That yes whoever doesn't follow God may seem like they have a better life. It looks good from the outside and they seem happier and get more worldly wealth. But Jobs point was in v. 16
But their prosperity is not in their own hands, so I stand aloof from the counsel of the wicked.

See, what Job knew was that those people got their wealth from God without knowing it. And it could be taken away just as easy.

v. 19 It is said, 'God stores up a man's punishment for his sons.' Let him repay the man himself, so that he will know it!

Some men don't see their sin while living in the wrong because it is passed down to generations and that is even worse than being able to deal with your own unbelief.

With God i could give my children a good future. I'd rather be like Job and have God bring punishment on my life than have my children pay for my sins. That's why its better to live a God fearing life because i can guarantee my unselfishness will pay off and my children can have a peaceful life.

Lord,
thank you for making it possible for me children to live in peace. Show me the areas to work on so i can deal with them now and guarantee my future a good life with you. Even if i have to go through pain, i will because my future is more important to be with you than without you.
I forever love you
Amen

My God

Job 19: 25-27 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. 26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; 27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

Job had a special relationship with God. Job knew he did nothing wrong but was going through his turmoil for something. He didn't give up on Gods superior purpose and knew that one day he would see God in his own way.

Everyone sees God differently. Some may see Him as a Savior, or Father, or Friend, or Everything. We each have a different relationship and will one day see God through our own eyes. Some will be excited, others fearful.
I am 50/50. I want to be with God and just worship Him. To be in His presence, loving Him, singing to Him, knowing Him. Yet though there have been struggles and difficulties, i want to get married, see what my children look like, my grandchildren. Teach them about how great God is. I want to accomplish great things and show that i can do it. A part of me feels that's selfish but its honest.

Lord,
I'm here. I want to be with you, worship you, know you. But i have to first do it on earth. You're giving me the chance and i want to take it. God, show me what i am blinded to and make me a stronger person, woman, Christian. When i am with you, i don't want unfinished business. I want me life to be wrapped up in you.
I forever love you
Amen

Behind the Scenes

Acts 5:38-39 Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

Gamaliel was a wise man and had the fear of God. He also knew the history of men trying to persuade others to follow them. At times we don't know who is fighting for us in behind the scenes. We think we are fighting battles alone. But when God is involved He uses the most unlikely people to help His own people.

God doesn't only use people in the ministry to help. If we remain strong and prove we are more than Bible reciters and yellers, people we least expect will rise to our favor. This world is not only filled with ministers but with businessmen and blue collar workers that will rise for His glory. As a minister I need to open my eyes to others because God brought them around to help me and others like me.

Lord,
I know you made me into a minister and others as lay workers. Neither calling is higher than the other. Give me the words and knowledge to find those people that will help me in life. I need strength to get out of my shell and be more open. I ask for a bigger personality and less shyness to know and talk to your people and to save more for your glory and kingdom.
I forever love you
Amen

9/25/09 Physical & Spiritual

Luke 8:43-48 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,[d] but no one could heal her. 44She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. 45"Who touched me?" Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you." 46But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me." 47Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Sometimes when we want to reach for God we think we don't have to do it physically. But its not only spiritually that Jesus felt because He felt power come out of Him which is spiritually. But the woman touched him physically. So we have to be the physical part. Though we can't see or feel God we reach for Him. Through our physical = mouth, voice, hands, arms, eyes, mind. And God feels it spiritually. We combine both physical and spiritual to reach God while God receives it only spiritually and in that can touch, heal, and reach for us.

At every time good or bad when we reach God it needs to be at a desperation point. Desperate to want something even if it its just a simple feeling or knowledge that he's around. But its when we reach for Him do we get the most of Him.

Lord,
I run to you. Right now things are difficult and i want to make the right decisions. Help me to see through your eyes and have your heart. Show me the good in the midst of the bad. God pour your mercy on the merciless and forgiveness on those who don't want to.
I forever love you
Amen

Forever on the Lord

Psalm 145:15-16 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

When king David went through good or bad times he knew where to turn. Even if David was never appointed king his eyes would've forever been on the Lord. Seeing everything he had gone through in life he was that much more sure of the position that God was in according to His authority.

It's funny that we have a hundred times more than what David had yet we whine about food or miniscule things. I can say its in my nature to do that but that means i need to change my behavior. When i need something, when i want something, when i am happy, when i am sad i should constantly look to God. Not only during situations and times but all the time. He wants to give me those desires not because of what I've donr but because He created me for that purpose.

Lord,
Open your hand. Your hand was made so mine can hold it. So i can take what you are giving me, so i can replicate it for the world. I want to see those desires come to life not only for me but for those around me at all times. Bring your presence closer to me so i can see you and hear you more clearly. I want you to hold my hand during our walk in life.
I forever love you
Amen

9/1/09 I knew it was you

Ezekiel 16:8 Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.

Some people don't encounter God till they are much older. While others see Him as children. I don't know why there is such a difference but i know that Gods timing is right.

I knew God as a child. I never saw angels or demons or spiritual things but i felt Him during different moments and knew it was Him. Just like this prostitute i took advantage of what God did for me and what He took me out of. I didn't quite understand what God was doing so i didn't take it seriously. But the difference between her and I is that even though i still sin i keep coming to ask for forgiveness. If I stay the way i am than i know i will be destroyed just like she was.

Lord,
Its hard to concentrate on your word and your voice with so many distractions. I want to hear you but i can't. And I sometimes feel cheated because there are others that do nothing and still know where your guiding them. I want to see your angels, I want to hear your voice. Why not me? I'm sorry for sounding whiny God but you know my heart and that was in there. Choose me God. Choose Me.
I forever love you
Amen

8/21/09 Tricky Tricky

1 John 2:1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
v.16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Sin is a tricky thing. There are times we sin and don't even know it. And other times we know we are sinning yet don't want to stop. But when John wrote this he knew the stronghold that sin had over us yet the power Jesus has. I think if we remain in the security of Christ and keep reminding ourselves of His word, sin wouldn't be so hard to walk away from.

v.27 As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.

I have thought many times that when i sin i lose what God has given me. But if that were true then the concept of grace wouldn't be around. God is showing us that sin doesn't ruin everything. If it did than the power and authority wouldn't be as strong as He has said it was. Sin can destroy us but Jesus takes those destructed pieces and puts us back together.

Lord,
I am in pieces. There are many things i do and keep doing but i want to stop. There are things i know yet don't know which brings more confusion. Father, help me and forgive me for my sins, my thoughts and my actions. You know the depth os my heart even things i don't know. I ask you, I plead show me and make things clear to me so i live solely in you.
I forever love you
Amen

8/16/09 The Extra Mile

Psalm 112:5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.

Giving is not a new concept. Since the beginning God has wanted people to go the extra mile. Ex: The Good Samaritan, the father in the prodigal son. But when we show kindness and generosity it shouldn't be to see what the reward is because most likely there is none.

Yesterday a kid that i don't know asked me for a dollar. Its so easy to say no or to lie and say i don't have anything but i decided to give it to him. I hardly ever know the reason why people ask for the money but that's where you trust God that whatever i'm sowing in i know He will make sure it won't be takes for granted.

Lord-
You give me above and beyond for a reason and its to help those who don't have much. Keep sowing in me so i can in return help your people that don't have much.
I forever love you
Amen

8/5/09 Never Homeless

2 Corinthians 5: 1 Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands

Paul was telling the Corinthians that they struggle with their bodies because they were constantly destroying it. And whether we kept those bodies or not we still (our spirit) has a home.

v.4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

We will never be fully happy until we are in heaven. ON earth our bodies and lives are never good enough, we always want and need more from God. But now its time for me to allow God to swallow up my mortality. I don't want to physically die but I want to spiritually live in heaven and earth. And if i die than i know i have another home. A home that i many not see on earth but one that is waiting for me in heaven. My spirit wants to be in heaven which is why I'm not fully 100% comfortable (rejection, hurt, pain) on earth.

Lord,
Thank you for my earthly body and giving me a chance to get to know you. Thank you for blessing me with breath and life and once I'm not on this earth I'll be with you in heaven. I'll always have a home. You are my God.
I forever love you
Amen

7/24/09 This ones for the ladies

1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Being in the ministry a couple years Peter was seeing changes in the church and culture especially in women. Peter knew how women who have impacted the ministry were and how much greatness they did. Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Deborah. And women should follow their footsteps and not the ones that the world admires.

For a woman, this scripture is hard to follow now a days because society and culture has banged it in our heads that make up, nice clothes, the newest fad would make us beautiful. But its time for me as a woman Pastor to break that mentality. Yes, i can wear that stuff but not to make it my reason is how i can be influential. Let me character and submissiveness and humility shine above any gold and that's when God will show off who i really am.

Isaiah 40:30-31
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Lord,
I put my hope, trust, and faith in you. Everyday i need to come to you and give you my all. I will stumble and fall but i know you are leading me to greater things. Show me the steps and places i need to be. Guide me to the places cause i can't go without you. I want to soar with you, fly with you, be with you. Forgive me for my pride, my blindness, my fear, and my sin. Renew me today
I forever love you
Amen

7/21/09 Don't sin for them

James 5:20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

James wanted the people to know how much better it would be to be free with God. He says v. 13 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. It was that easy for him. And it is that easy for everyone.

The hardest thing for me is to admit my sin to someone else because than I'm admitting my weaknesses and embarrassments. I think people would judge me and hate me. But i can easily tell God anything even when I'm wrong. James wanted everyone to be free from sin and just simply be free. And that's what i should strive for not only for me but for everyone else.

Lord,
Here i am. I've been gone a long time and I'm not proud of it. But I'm here with you and there is nowhere else i want to be. Forgive me God: only you know whats in the core of my heart. Take me and use me as you want. I am yours forever
I forever love you
Amen

7/4/09 God made me do it!

Hosea 1:2 When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD."

Hosea was the last king of Israel and for many years before that the kings were doing evil in the eyes of the Lord. God was fed up with the kings and how much they walked from Him that He had to make an example out of innocent people.

Though I may not understand why God would make an example of innocent children He knew that His plan was not to leave them sinful. His ultimate plan was to restore them to new.

Just like he does with us. He allows us to sin and others do things that are completely wrong but His end plan is to have us restored for the next season.

God,
there are many things that i have done that i am not proud of. And i have sinned but i don't want to stay that way. Restore me and make me new. Make me clean Lord, because that is your ultimate plan.
I forever love you
Amen

6/26/09 The Hidden Truth

Jonah 4:10-11 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

Jonah was a man wanted to do God will but wasn't in accordance. God wanted to challenge Jonah in what He really wanted to teach him. Jonahs level of grace only extended to "Gods people" but he didn't know the extent of Gods people reached over to the Gentiles as well.

Jonah was like many people today, their religiousness gets in the way of knowing the level of Gods mercy and grace. SO many people have much more forgiveness and patience with a dog than with people that God wants us to reach out to. I will never understand the level of Gods grace because He is divine and hold and I am human and a sinner. However, if God wants me to go out and reach those who need the most mercy than that's what I should do. And its not about Gods deep voice calling me - He's already told us - in His word that we should have mercy on the merciless.

Father,
Your mercy surpasses anything I can understand. But i thank you for it. Only you can show such love to me in my confusion and lost state. Lord make things clear to me as much as possible. Show me whats hidden from my eyes even if it hurts. Guide me to the right path - Your path.
I forever love you
Amen

6/24/09 The King & I

2 Kings 11:8, 17 Station yourselves around the king, each man with his weapon in his hand. Anyone who approaches your ranks must be put to death. Stay close to the king wherever he goes."

As servants of God and people with bosses, parents, teachers, esp those who are specially anointed God wants us to protect them. He has called his people to protect the anointed until death. There are those who are to be "kings" and we are to be their protectors. Jehoash was only 7 and these people were ready to die for him they need those protectors from gossipers, greedy people, arrogant and throne stealer's. We are those protectors.

17 Jehoiada then made a covenant between the LORD and the king and people that they would be the LORD's people. He also made a covenant between the king and the people.

When protecting a king there should always be a good reason to keep fighting for something. I believe to keep a land holy is the reason to fight to the death. Jehoiada wanted the land purified and the people followed the covenant as did the king. My king should stand for something right, pure, and holy. Because if not than my reason and energy to fight would be gone.

Lord,
Keep my kings looking at you. The covenant they made with you was forever. God you know their hearts and i choose to follow your path because you have it all under control. Take my life and use it as you see right. Help me everyday to see more of you.
I forever love you
Amen.

6/9/09 My Reading

Ecclesiastes 11:8-10 However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless. 9 Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. 10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body,for youth and vigor are meaningless.
12:1, 13-14
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"- 13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Ephesians 5:1-2,17 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Inner Lion

Proverbs 29:1b But the righteous are as bold as a lion.
Romans 16:18-19 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. 19Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

Many things in life we allow pass through because we are too nice. Paul was never too nice. He knew what he wanted and did anything to achieve it. He wanted others to stand up and fight for their faith. He knew what kind of people were out there and didn't want the sheep to be devoured by the lion.

I have allowed wolves to come and eat me alive. I have allowed the worlds craftiness fool me into thinking they are right and i am wrong. I have lost money, time, and answers from God because of it. But i know that I am naive at times and just too nice. I allow people in my life without doing background checks. We all have a bit of sheep, wolf, and lion inside of us and we have to be wise when we let each come out. As for me, i need to let my inner lion come out more often. Roar.

Lord,
You are my lion, my master, my guide, my king. I need to learn you more and be with you more than anyone. I lack many things when it comes to you so i need your hand. You deserve more from me so please take me, push me, extend me God. I am what is yours.
I forever love you
Amen

5/16/09 Receive

1 Thessalonians 5:9-10 9For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.

When God called His children He wanted each one to live in His mercy. He wanted each to know of His great saving power. Paul was writing to the Thessalonians because even though they were remaining strong they still need encouragement.

Christians now still need the same encouragement which is why we are still reading the writings. No matter how old they are they consistently pertain to each generation we still need Gods salvation and power. We still need to know that He is with us no matter what or where.

Lord,
give me the strength and courage to move forward. I am with you day or night. Stay close to me and speak to your daughter. I always need your love and guidance.
I forever love you
Amen

I said No

Matthew 21: 31c-32 Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

Jesus' parables were always to make the people reflect on themselves. Some of the people didn't understand at first because they thought they were doing everything right. But the pharisees were the worst of them all. Jesus tried to show them over and over how prideful they were and how wrong they were in interpreting scriptures and bringing them to life. Essentially, Jesus wanted them to repent but their hearts and minds were full of so much religion and pride they couldn't even see the Messiah in front of them.

In this parable Jesus wants his people to see that even though we say no at first than later believe that's the people He came for. Jesus just wants us to repent and believe and repent and believe. He knows my life isn't gonna be perfect, He knows I'm gonna make mistakes so He wants me to be the son that eventually does the work. He doesn't want me to make empty promises but to be honest with myself. He'd rather me do the work later than me lie to Him. I'm gonna fall and sin but if i get up and repent and believe Gods promises I'm better than those people who know the Bible cover to cover but have no mercy.

I am Gods creation. I am not perfect but I strive for a better tomorrow. I was made in Gods image yet I am human. I may fall, i may displease God and others. I may be lazy and messy sometimes but only the Lord knows my heart and He loves me. He put me here because He believes in me and I believe in Him.

Lord,
I am not physically a prostitute but i want to be one. A person who makes mistakes but believes in the end. And i believe now. With all my heart. Forgive me for saying no at first and for doing things that don't please you. I want to be your instrument that you use. Keep me in check Lord.
I forever love you
Amen

4/28/09 I was a Pharisee

Matthew 15:11-13 What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' "12Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?" 13He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.

The disciples were still worried what the religious people thought. Jesus didn't care if they were offended or didn't understand. He had his reason to be on earth and He was going to fulfill it with or without their permission. Jesus rocked their thinking with this statement because it meant not only the food they ate but the people they were affiliated with, the things that they did. It meant they didn't have to be ashamed to be seen with a certain type of person or to do certain thing. Jesus was merely saying you can do just about anything but not everything is good for you and whatever isn't Gods - He will take it out of you.

In today's world there are still those Pharisees that don't accept the concept of being free. But on the other hand there are some Christians who take this way too far. Jesus came to make us free, free in Him - free to eat what we want, dress the way we want, hang out with who we want, say what we want, do what we want. And even though there is this great freedom, He also says be careful with what comes out because of it. Because if something bad and perverted comes out than that's not God. If you help tempt someone because of your freedom that's not God. And He will pull all whats displeasing to him out of the heart to set us straight again.

I had to learn this the hard way because i used to be a Pharisee. I didn't hang out with certain people or watch certain things because i thought they weren't holy enough. But God even took that out of my heart straight from the root and showed me it wasn't them that were wrong - it was me. Jesus came to save those people and i had to see that by God offending me.

Lord-
Thank you for letting me see you for who you are. I know i haven't done all the right things but i want you to know that I'm gonna be free and smart about my decisions. My heart and my mouth are yours and i only want your words to come. Guide me God to do the right things and be the instrument you need me to be.
I forever love you
Amen

Your mercy

Matthew 9:12-13 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

The religious don't understand the concept of mercy before sacrifice. The Pharisees thought their good works, their prayer time, their flee from sin would make them better people. But Jesus didn't and still doesn't want the righteous attitudes but the real ones. He wants the crying and humble hearts.

When Jesus called us to be His own, He didn't want those people who needed to be right or perfect but wanted who knew they sin all the time and can deal with it. I had to learn that the hard way. I always tried to be perfect and fit a certain mold and when I didn't or when others didn't, it was over. God wasn't with me or with them. Christianity was in a box for me and i was missing out on a world that God wanted me to see. Not necessarily one i had to follow but just see so i could relax and be free.

Lord,
I know you wanted me to see different things but at times i took it too far and for that I am sorry. I want to be free yet pleasing to you. Help me to see you in all that i am a part of.
I forever love you.
Amen

Armor Bearer

1 Samuel 14:7 "Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

Jonathan's armor bearer got it right. He knew what it meant to back up his leader. He knew how to be guided and to follow the one God had anointed as leader. Everyone is called to be a leader in one way or another but its only when you first learn how to follow to really be that leader God has called you to be.

Many people want to be in charge of something. The responsibility, the glory of winning or being successful is exhilarating. However, if you lead nothing or no one your not a true leader. A good leader knows how to delegate, has compassion, and has people who want to follow him/her and not forced to follow. People will be drawn to a good leader and each leader should have an armor bearer. Someone they can count on with their life. This person is someone they can trust to love them and protect them in all aspects of life.

2 Corinthians 13:9-10b
9 We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection. 10b the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down.

Leaders are to build up their people and armor bearers are their to accept the leadership. An armor bearer is being prepped for leadership to see what kind of leader they are to be. If an armor cannot be trusted they should step down. A team is made up of one leader and many armor bearers. I am an armor bearer, I am a person of trust, compassion, open mindedness, and God. I am not perfect but someone who takes pride in my work and the help i give out.

Lord,
Thank you for making me an armor bearer. Allow me to be the one my leader can count on for anything. Give me the strength to keep going and being a better leader. Forgive me for my sins and everything that doesn't please you. I love you.
I forever love you
Amen

4/2/09 Aroma

2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

When someone smells something good they follow it to know what it is. When Jesus walked the earth His followers and haters wanted to know more about Him. There was an aroma that captured them to want more.

And today in God we have the aroma of Christ. When I am guided by Him others smell something sweet and want more of it. And whether one believes in Christ or not the smell is still there and the curiosity is also present. When I allow God in to lead me He spreads His fragrance around to let the world know that i am carrying Him in my heart.

Lord,
spread your fragrance to this world. Use me as an instrument to the saved and non-saved. Today is a new day and I am prepared for what you have for me. Keep guiding me because without you i am just a blind girl with no path.
I forever love you
Amen

3/30/09 Deep Water

Psalm 42:1-2 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Thousands of years ago and today people still need God more than ever. People will always have a thirst for more and that thirst should be focused on God alone.

v.7-8 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.

When I am thirsty an focused God meets me. When I am in the middle of a crowd and distracted, God meets me. He is constantly reminding me about His love because He knows how important it is for me to feel loved.

Lord,
Pour over me your love as water easily falls on my skin. Endure me as my Father and first love because without you i would be a lost being in this world. Keep me close to you. I forever love you
Amen

Freedom in Commitment

1 Corinthians 8:9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak

Freedom is not simply about being free to do whatever you want but ironically its a commitment. When in a relationship you are free to be with that person and its freeing because you don't have to go through the drama anymore. When one is free in Christ, they are committed to that freedom and even the responsibilities that come with it. Whether free or bound there are responsibilities that need to be accounted for.

v.12-13 When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

I have a responsibility in my freedom. I cannot allow my actions to affect someone so much they sin because of it. When i was bound to the enemy i didn't care about others, it was all about me. But now in my freedom i am committed to thinking about others. I am committed to trying my best in doing the right things as best as i can. I am committed to be a solid rock and not a stumbling block. And though this seems like a lot for me to handle i know i am free of the worry, the doubt and the confusion of my life and who I'm supposed to be. God gave me a plan - a plan to be committed to His freedom and helping others make the same commitment.

Lord,
I am committed to you. To your love, to your grace, to your freedom. I am following you because i believe in you and everything you stand for. You are the only one that has remained and will continue to stay with me. I trust in you and have never regretted committing to you. I give you my life body and soul today and forever.
I forever love you
Amen

Bypass it all

Joshua 1:8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Moses just died and Joshua was put in charge. To suddenly going from follower to leader can bring fear and stress. But Gods advice was simple and meant for anyone whatever level they're in.

Psalm 37:4-5,7, 23-24 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 23 If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; 24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

When God looks at His children, he doesn't see what level of leadership they're in. So God didn't see Joshua as a follower than a leader but he saw him as a child of God. He saw his heart and the fear inside of it. When God sees us he looks at the heart and what we need the most comfort in. Today God is seeing my heart and knows what i need to hear. He knows i need to hear to keep hanging on. Keep hanging on to His word, His promises, to His joy and delight. He knows that i need to hear to keep being patient with Him that all my desires will come to pass because he promised them. But i need to trust him and delight in Him. So knowing what God is telling me i gotta tell Him that i will do what i need to do to be closer to Him.

Father,
At times its hard to be joyful and to simply trust in your timing. Sometimes i want to do things my way in my time but i know that's not doing your will. Lord help me see what you do to be like you are and forgive and be compassionate to all people. Give me the strength and courage to by pass those things that hurt me and see the things you have in store for me.
I forever love you
Amen

3/11/09 Be a Gentile

Galatians 2:11-12 When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. 12Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group.

Paul had crawled his way to the top. He was on the bottom for so long that it was too hard for him to stand up right away. So he got mad when Peter took his relationship with the gentiles for granted. Paul knew what it was like to be against God and even though he was a Jew he had a gentile mentality and didn't want any gentile to be lost just because peter was embarrassed of what the others would say about him.

As a minister for God i have to be ready to sit with anyone. God puts certain people in my path so they can feel accepted and welcomed and loved. So when i am with them in private or public God wants me to show them that same love because it never changes with environment.

Lord,
give me the love for Jew or gentile alike. Help me to make them feel welcome in any situation. Give me the words to say and the attitude of Christ.
I forever love you
Amen.

Keep me Mature

Mark 7:15 Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.

During the time Jesus was trying to teach the people He had to change their way of thinking. In the Old Testament there were many rules and regulations which many people were still living by even though it happened hundreds of years ago. Jesus wanted them to know it wasn't about what they ate or heard that was important but it was what they said and did that mattered.

Yes, God is included in the details of my life and wants to know the ins and outs but whats important to Him is how i react to things, how i live my life, how i present myself. Its what comes out of me that's in my heart which is why its so important. Whatever feelings are in my heart is how i will present God. If i am bitter, angry, prideful, jealous then that's how God will be seen through me. But if i act in love, joy, gratefulness and forgiveness than That's how God will be seen through me. I am an instrument for Him to be used for Him and by Him therefore I have to be wise about what I let out of my mouth and body.

Lord,
Give me the wisdom to be a mature woman. I want to live according to your will even though it is extremely hard at time, help me to see things through your eyes because i can say things out of frustration. Forgive me for not wholly trusting you in my life and heart. Have mercy on me and keep me in your service.
I forever love you
Amen

2/24/09 My Stomach Hurts

Mark 3:23-26 So Jesus called them and spoke to them in parables: "How can Satan drive out Satan? 24. If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come.

Satan became satan because he was divided with God. Heaven couldn't stand if satan remained which is why he was kicked out. When we enter a place and there is a head we need to obey their rules because we are in their place not our own. When we enter Gods kingdom its his rules we obey because He is the head. Wherever we go, we are under the heads control.

When i enter a place there is a certain law i need to abide by. That's why its important for me to know what i am entering into. And not just into buildings but into relationships as well. Is the person i will be with on my same level? Can we abide by each others rules? Will we be divided? As i get older i have to be careful with who i get myself involved with because if we do become divided than i as the woman will get hurt more because of my emotions. And not even a divided heart can stand firm.

Lord,
My stomach hurts and I'm tired. Tired of thinking, wondering, hoping, dreaming. I really want to know what I'm supposed to do or even who I'm supposed to be with. Father, my request today as i am fasting this week is to clear my mind of the worlds lies and to help me stand in truth. I have patience but i need some help from you to remain patient. i trust you in my heart. So remain there.
I forever love you
Amen

God is good to me

Psalm 13:2-3 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? 3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

David knew what was coming to him. He knew the anxiety in his heart was real and just wanted it to stop. The only way he knew to stop how he felt emotionally was to give it over to God.

There is an enemy that is taking over me and I am the only one who can conquer it. The enemy is myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, My heart is whats taking over me and making me think of things that don't really matter. Because my focus should constantly be on God. I can be suffering from a broken heart but i don't have to torment myself to the point that its all i think about. i know i am worth more and God has made me more than a conqueror.

v.5-6 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

Human don't think on Gods level and God has and always will be good to me. So through my constant thoughts and the sorrow of what i don't have but want i will rejoice and sing because God is good to me.

Father,
You are good. You're good to me and i can always count on you being a good man. I know you love me and have the best for me. I will praise you through the sorrow and pain because you will change it to joy and blessings. Only you know my heart. So keep it safe and guarded.
I forever love you
Amen

Even when it hurts

Psalm 15:4b "...who keeps his oath even when it hurts"

David was asking God who may dwell in His sanctuary and live on His holy hill. And God gave David revelation. Some revelation was apparent: 1. whose walk is blameless 2. who speaks the truth 3. no slander 4. does neighbor no wrong 5. despises a vile man 6. honors those fear the Lord 7. lends his money 8. does not accept a bribery

Even with all those things there is one i couldn't pass - he who keeps his oath even when it hurts. So many people break their word because its easier and more convenient for them. But God doesn't like us to break our covenants. The words that come out of our mouth are the words that from our hearts. So when our mouths lie, they stem from our heart.

I know many people lie and I'm one of them. I want people to be honest with me and even expect it but how hard am i when i don't keep my oath? So many times I found myself caught in something where it would be easier to lie, but that's why God has made it so important to follow and a commandment to follow to get into His kingdom because sometimes it does hurt and the world is not used to truth Sayers. So its up to us to be that difference.

Father,
I don't want to lose my oath. I don't want to be a person who lies out of convenience. Help me today and everyday to tell the truth. Keep me in check to do the right things before you. I want to walk on your guided path. Keep me straight in every way in my life.
I forever love you
Amen

Revive my soul

Psalm 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.

David was a man after Gods heart so he knew how to get closer to God. His laws were to be followed because they not only help us do His will but like David said they revive the soul and give joy to the heart. Gods laws are not for us to just live by but to have joy from them. They bring life where we are dead.

v. 8-9 The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. 9 The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.

When i obey the Lord I'm not just being an obedient servant but I'm bringing joy to my heart. I'm allowing the Holy Spirit to bring his fruits in me. Life can bring disappointments and i can sit and allow them to take over but when i obey God that sorrow will turn into joy, into a revived soul, light, into radiance.So every time i feel down i know i just have to come back to God because He takes care of His servants and children.

v. 11 By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Lord,
i know what to do now. I have been down and not following you. But you bring me joy and i will follow your laws to revive my soul. You are the radiance in my eyes and the peace in my heart.
I forever love you
Amen

1/30/09 Delegate

Acts 6:3-4 "Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them 4and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

The twelve saw what Jesus did when He ministered, he delegated. And with many people around they were able to choose the right people to help them.

Being in the ministry it's so easy to get caught up doing the little things because you really want them done right. So instead of allowing others to help I just pressure myself and do it alone. I know to be someone in the word and prayer i need to start delegating cause my ministry will suffer and my spiritual life as well. God didn't call me as an administration pastor. I can't be doing the tedious stuff when i have so many people around me that can help.

Lord,
Help me to be a better delegator with my work. Give me the ability to reach out to others so I can be closer to you.
I forever love you
Amen

1/28/09 Save Me

Acts 4:12 "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

Peter and John were starting their life without Christ and had been filled with the Holy Spirit. Through everything that had happened their faith and strength was stronger than ever. The people knew they had Jesus and once again wanted them to stop working their miracles.

People will see what I do and will want me to stop because they don't understand the fullness of Christ. Just like Peter and John I know where my salvation comes from. And its not only Salvation but my hope, my worth, my faith, and my strength.

Lord,
Your name of Jesus Christ has and will save this world. You saved me from the enemy, from more pain and suffering. I ask Father that you save me today from my thoughts. Make me free from my own entrapment.
I forever love you
Amen

Simon

Luke 22:31-32 "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. 32. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

Jesus was addressing Peter with his old name. At that very moment He didn't see Peter as a rock but as his old self. satan was asking for Peter but Jesus knew that he would turn into Simon once temptation rose. This shows that God allows satan to tempt us but Jesus goes on the defense for us by praying and telling us to hold on and keep strong. Jesus knew Simon would fall but after that Jesus wanted him to turn back to Peter and help the other disciples to remain like a rock.

22:61-62 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." 62. And he went outside and wept bitterly.

I read the Bible and see all the things i should and shouldn't do yet i do those wrong things. Jesus tells me to hold on and keep my faith yet i find myself sinning over and over again. Yet Jesus is saying after you sin go and help those other sinners so they can remain strong and help even more people. Jesus is praying for me because i can help those that don't know they are sinning, He's praying so i can be like a rock after the hard times come and when they do, if i fall, i will go and weep before God and come out stronger.

Lord,
Make me a rock. A rock that doesn't break so easily. You have made me in your image and i choose to be stronger than before. Even if satan wants me i choose not to allow him in and for you to take me over. God take my life and use it for your kingdom.
I forever love you
Amen

Israel

Luke 21:32-33 "I tell you the truth, this generation[a] will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 33Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

Ever since the time of Jesus and before the Israelites were hated by everyone. Watching the news today, the same is true. These people are Gods chosen and have remained that since the beginning of time. That is why they are hates and that is why they cannot be wiped from the earth. They are to see the coming of the Lord as it is said by Jesus Himself.

I may not know all of Israels history but i know what is loved by God, i should love as well. Even if it is a whole country. Going to Israel and seeing for myself gave me a new love for these people. Stepping off the plane i just felt God all over and knew this was the chosen land. So even if society said to hate these people i choose not to. i choose to defend them and help them and pray for them because Gods chosen people are the ones that need the most help today as they did thousands of years ago.

Father,
I sit here today thinking about my trip to Israel. Meeting your people, talking to them and falling in love with a country that's not mine. I pray for Israel this morning for their safety and that they rise up for the occasion and never back down. May they be a David to their Goliath and trust solely in You. I bless Israel today and pray that they may find peace in you.
I forever love you
Amen

Righteous vs. Sinners

Luke 15:7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Jesus knew the hearts of the men he was talking to. All he wanted from them was for them to change their hearts and be men of their word. God knows our hearts and wants us to be real with ourselves; be real with who we are and expose that. The men were trying to be so righteous that they forgot that they were still sinners.

Some people think why even try to be righteous if God celebrates the sinners? Why should i try to be good if the ones who sin get most of the praise for turning their lives around? My answer is the more you sin the more guilt will eat you up and a party is temporary. When we are good we are not better, we are still sinners. I am a sinner. As long as that is still in our hearts that even though i didn't get into drugs and gangs and had a miraculous change...I am a sinner. And I need to ask for forgiveness every day.

Lord,
You are my judge and my Saviour. Show me the things i need to change in my life and please forgive me for the pain i have caused and for pushing you to the side. You are my guide and shield, protect me this day and forever.
I will forever love you
Amen

1/13/09 Weep with me

Genesis 33:4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.

After so many years of Jacob thinking Esau hated him, Jacob wept in his brothers arms. He was tired from wrestling with God and himself that all he could do at this point was weep. He knew that Esau's hug was the hug of God comforting him and weeping with him.

When we go through a time of trials, god feels our pain. He feels what our hearts feel. He feels what pain is pressing me. He feels the suffering, the shame, the depression, and all He does is weep with me. And the farther i think I'm from Him the closer He gets.

Lord,
weep with me. You know my heart and what i really need. Father, i need you and your shoulder. Be my Saviour today and forever. You are God and i will forever Love you.
Amen.

Beyond Emotions

Genesis 23:14-16 Ephron answered Abraham, 15. "Listen to me, my lord; the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, but what is that between me and you? Bury your dead." 16.
Abraham agreed to Ephron's terms and weighed out for him the price he had named in the hearing of the Hittites: four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weight current among the merchants.

Reading the Bible can teach some life long lessons. I find it sad when people say this book doesn't have the answers because they are right in front of us. Abraham could've been greedy and taken the land for free because he led these people. He could've let his emotions take over and agreed with Ephron. But he decided to do something different. He didn't want anything hanging over his head or be indebted to someone. He made a choice beyond emotions.

As life passes us by we'll have friends, enemies, and acquaintances. People will love us, hate us or just not care. But as life brings its challenges God brings His wisdom. I can deal with things the wrong way and hurt other but God brings His grace. I can destroy someones hope in me, but God brings His mercy. I can betray those I love but God brings His forgiveness.

Whatever God brings is what our Spirit should follow. Emotions are from God but sometimes they need to be controlled because than we can make decisions based on what we want and not what the Lord wants for us.

Father-
Happy New Year. I know your time is different than mine but you know whats going on. I thank you that you have given me the privilege to have another year, to start over and to work things out. You have given me grace and forgiveness and I couldn't go on without you. You're my Savior and Lord and my Best Friend.

I love you forever
Amen