Curiosity

Acts 18:11 Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

Not everyone we preach to will receive the message as openly as others. The Bereans I believe were more curious than anything else. Maybe their reason for searching the Word wasn't a spiritual one but that's what it became. Their curiosity brought them to God.

My mission is not to force the gospel down someones throat but ti peek their interest. If i spark something than they'll want to learn more. They'll want to seek more and find more. My job is to plant seeds than when the person wants to be watered I'll have the jar full of living water.

God,
Give me the opportunity to plant seeds. Lord, my voice, my life, my heart, my everything is yours to use and have. Keep me close to you so i can see you and find you. Use me in any way you want. I am open for you.
I love you Always
Amen

Why?

Job 11:7-9 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? 8 They are higher than the heavens—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave —what can you know? 9 Their measure is longer than the earth
and wider than the sea.

Can anyone really understand where God comes from and how He does things? We sit and think Why? All the time but never come up with an answer cause Why? is not supposed to be answered sometimes.

The mysteries of God will always be just that. To me I have so many questions and i always will. But instead of trying to find the answers I brush them aside.

Romans 7:15
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

I hate being lazy, i hate feeling so tired in the morning, I hate not praying, not reading, not having energy for the ministry, I hate being selfish, gluttonous, I hate what I'm doing. I mean I've cut out some very essential things and people in my life to begin to move forward. But I feel stuck. Stuck in who I am, stuck in the dirty mud, stuck in the garbage, stuck in a stack papers, stuck in emails, stuck in my life.

How can I change my thinking? I should have an answer right? I'd have an answer if I was counseling someone but "to thine own self be true" and for some reason that's what I'm lacking - truth.

Lord,
You are the truth and for some reason that's the very thing I've been hiding. I'm scared of judgement and condemnation and everything that doesn't come from you. For the first time I'm scared of evil, scared of the enemies mysteries when i should fear You. Where have I gone? How can I find myself again? I need your help. I'm asking for your help.
I love you Always
Amen
PS its me again...

Shake the Ground

Acts 4:31-32 After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. 32. All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

Gods prayer is supposed to be powerful. It's supposed to shake the ground and change lives. When we pray with power God opens the heavens and brings people together with one mentality. Not one person will be selfish or jealous but be filled with love and compassion. Everything would become common as we come together to pray.

I already know how strong prayer is and how many miracles can be done with just a little boldness. God doesn't want me to stay quiet but use the voice He gave me. He gave me instruments to use for His glory. To sing, to preach, and to pray. But its my turn to use them. To put them into practice and shake the ground.

Lord,
Shake the ground I walk on. Rock me to the point that I have no choice but to get on my knees and cry out to you. I need your help in my prayer time because I cant even do that alone. Show me that I made the right decisions in life and that I am following your will. I love you Always
Amen
P.S. take my hand and hold me tight.

10/1/08 Shine

Psalm 126 When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. 2.Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." 3. The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. 4. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev. 5.Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

When people go through a rough time they stop laughing, dreaming and get into a depressed state. But once God gets a hold of them, things change and they become who God intended them to be. They start to be themselves and shine the parts of themselves that they actually like.

God wants me to dream again. All my tears and sadness need to turn back into songs of joy and laughter. God will and keep doing great things in my life. And the life of everyone who follows God. He is faithful to the core; faithful to His children; to His instruments; to His people. He loves me and I will remain in Him.

Father,
I know you love me and want to do great things for me. You are the one who makes me smile and brings joy to my heart every single day. you are my everything and nothing and no one can take that away.

I love you Always
Amen

P.S. You make me laugh! :)

Rage

Luke 13:6-9 Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any.7.So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'8."'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it.9.If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.'"

God is the owner; Jesus the farmer; we the tree.

Jesus is fighting for me to stay in the game. He wants me to bear fruit and prosper. It hasn't taken me 3 years but it has been a year that I have been dry and not bearing any fruit but Jesus is telling His father giver her a little more time, she can do it, let me work with her. I know i have let Jesus down a lot but I want to take this year to grow with fruit and color. I want to take this year and be different for Him. I don't want to approach 2009 and be in the same situation. I want to rise from the ashes.

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light" Dylan Thomas

Lord,
I want to rage at the close of day. My day is not over. I will rise once again, I will rise from the abyss that i fell in and move forward to your path step by step. Forgive me for my sinning transgressions because I am sick and tired of that life. I will fight against the evil in front of me.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. Its time to Rage!

Core Center

Psalm 127:1-3 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves.3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

Everything we do should be done with a spiritual purpose. People work and work and all they get is tired. But God says He will grant us rest as long as we put Him in the equation. He made us His children because we are a reward from Him. Which is why this life can't be taken lightly.

This week has been great. Besides the dumb drama, i have woken up at 7:30 and walk around and prayed and was able to do my journal without rushing. I believe its been a good time because I put God in the middle. He became my purpose to wake up and keep going. He became my center once again.

Jesus,
Stay in my core center. Become my equation. I don't want to go back to who I was. I don't like who I was and what I was doing. I like me today and help me remain that way. I am yours Lord and always will b forever yours. God - I love you so much I never want to be away from you. Forgive me and have compassion on your child.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I am Yours Always!

Time to eat

Luke 8:53-55 They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead.54 But he took her by the hand and said, "My child, get up!"55 Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat.

Jairus was desperate to do something for his child. Jesus was his only hope. He knew he found the right man when he said she was only sleeping. When He rose her from the dead He said get her something to eat (that's the only reference of eating when Jesus raises someone from the dead). I know there was no full Bible available but i think Jesus wanted her to eat of His body and what He had to offer.

When i rise from the dead God wants me to get closer to Him. He wants me to read the word, pray, fast, spread the word more than before. When Jesus said get her something to eat it wasn't natural food He was talking about, but spiritual food filled with compassion, joy, and kindness. Jesus wanted her life to be better than before. Just like ours when He raises us for the ashes.

Father,
Raise me from the ashes of the devils fire. Keep me away from his wickedness and lies. I am yours today and forever. Take my hand and use it for your glory. I thank you for your love and majesty, for your glory over my life. Forgive me for my sins and the sins of my fathers. I bring my life to you as a sacrifice. Use me.
I love you Always
Amen
P.S. I feel you with me right now