To be a Baby

Genesis 37, 38; Psalm 7; Luke 15

Luke 15: 28-30
The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
I never fully understood this verse because i always agreed with the older brother until i took another look. Things don't always seem fair but its because, us, who have served God don't always take advantage of His blessings. The baby Christians pray, fast, read their Bible, got to as many services as they can and get their prayers answered. But veteran Christians do the same thing and wonder why my prayers don't get answered. Why the person who was a drug addict, pron addict, wife beater, alcoholic gets all they ask and I'm here trying to live for God and staying away from sin, has to wait years for anything to happen. it's not cause God is unfair, its because I am already in the house and part of the family but i just don't take advantage of what God has given me. He already told me what was available but throughout the years i forgot or got tired and to the baby Christians its fresh and new. but by just going to God it can be fresh and new again.

Baby or veteran Christian, God wants to give us everything. As for me, as a veteran, i have to go back to my baby years. Not as the immaturity, but in the sense of searching God. I still need Him more than ever but my Father has to know that i need Him. I can't just assume either that He knows that i need Him - He wants to hear it from my heart. I can't be the stubborn and naive brother because than I'll live with bitterness and i also can't be the inconsiderate younger brother than I'll live with guilt. But instead live like someone who loves God no matter what. And be a baby with my time with Him. Being selfish with my God and my time and blessings He has in store for me.

Lord,
You know my true heart. Where I have been and who I am now. I'm not the same from a year ago. And refuse to be that way but you can only see me and i refuse to allow bitterness to take hold of me but want to live in love for you first so you can show me to love everyone else. Thank you for allowing me to be a baby with you.
I forever love you always
Amen