My God

Job 19: 25-27 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. 26 And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; 27 I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

Job had a special relationship with God. Job knew he did nothing wrong but was going through his turmoil for something. He didn't give up on Gods superior purpose and knew that one day he would see God in his own way.

Everyone sees God differently. Some may see Him as a Savior, or Father, or Friend, or Everything. We each have a different relationship and will one day see God through our own eyes. Some will be excited, others fearful.
I am 50/50. I want to be with God and just worship Him. To be in His presence, loving Him, singing to Him, knowing Him. Yet though there have been struggles and difficulties, i want to get married, see what my children look like, my grandchildren. Teach them about how great God is. I want to accomplish great things and show that i can do it. A part of me feels that's selfish but its honest.

Lord,
I'm here. I want to be with you, worship you, know you. But i have to first do it on earth. You're giving me the chance and i want to take it. God, show me what i am blinded to and make me a stronger person, woman, Christian. When i am with you, i don't want unfinished business. I want me life to be wrapped up in you.
I forever love you
Amen

Behind the Scenes

Acts 5:38-39 Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God."

Gamaliel was a wise man and had the fear of God. He also knew the history of men trying to persuade others to follow them. At times we don't know who is fighting for us in behind the scenes. We think we are fighting battles alone. But when God is involved He uses the most unlikely people to help His own people.

God doesn't only use people in the ministry to help. If we remain strong and prove we are more than Bible reciters and yellers, people we least expect will rise to our favor. This world is not only filled with ministers but with businessmen and blue collar workers that will rise for His glory. As a minister I need to open my eyes to others because God brought them around to help me and others like me.

Lord,
I know you made me into a minister and others as lay workers. Neither calling is higher than the other. Give me the words and knowledge to find those people that will help me in life. I need strength to get out of my shell and be more open. I ask for a bigger personality and less shyness to know and talk to your people and to save more for your glory and kingdom.
I forever love you
Amen

9/25/09 Physical & Spiritual

Luke 8:43-48 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,[d] but no one could heal her. 44She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. 45"Who touched me?" Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you." 46But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me." 47Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

Sometimes when we want to reach for God we think we don't have to do it physically. But its not only spiritually that Jesus felt because He felt power come out of Him which is spiritually. But the woman touched him physically. So we have to be the physical part. Though we can't see or feel God we reach for Him. Through our physical = mouth, voice, hands, arms, eyes, mind. And God feels it spiritually. We combine both physical and spiritual to reach God while God receives it only spiritually and in that can touch, heal, and reach for us.

At every time good or bad when we reach God it needs to be at a desperation point. Desperate to want something even if it its just a simple feeling or knowledge that he's around. But its when we reach for Him do we get the most of Him.

Lord,
I run to you. Right now things are difficult and i want to make the right decisions. Help me to see through your eyes and have your heart. Show me the good in the midst of the bad. God pour your mercy on the merciless and forgiveness on those who don't want to.
I forever love you
Amen

Forever on the Lord

Psalm 145:15-16 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

When king David went through good or bad times he knew where to turn. Even if David was never appointed king his eyes would've forever been on the Lord. Seeing everything he had gone through in life he was that much more sure of the position that God was in according to His authority.

It's funny that we have a hundred times more than what David had yet we whine about food or miniscule things. I can say its in my nature to do that but that means i need to change my behavior. When i need something, when i want something, when i am happy, when i am sad i should constantly look to God. Not only during situations and times but all the time. He wants to give me those desires not because of what I've donr but because He created me for that purpose.

Lord,
Open your hand. Your hand was made so mine can hold it. So i can take what you are giving me, so i can replicate it for the world. I want to see those desires come to life not only for me but for those around me at all times. Bring your presence closer to me so i can see you and hear you more clearly. I want you to hold my hand during our walk in life.
I forever love you
Amen

9/1/09 I knew it was you

Ezekiel 16:8 Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.

Some people don't encounter God till they are much older. While others see Him as children. I don't know why there is such a difference but i know that Gods timing is right.

I knew God as a child. I never saw angels or demons or spiritual things but i felt Him during different moments and knew it was Him. Just like this prostitute i took advantage of what God did for me and what He took me out of. I didn't quite understand what God was doing so i didn't take it seriously. But the difference between her and I is that even though i still sin i keep coming to ask for forgiveness. If I stay the way i am than i know i will be destroyed just like she was.

Lord,
Its hard to concentrate on your word and your voice with so many distractions. I want to hear you but i can't. And I sometimes feel cheated because there are others that do nothing and still know where your guiding them. I want to see your angels, I want to hear your voice. Why not me? I'm sorry for sounding whiny God but you know my heart and that was in there. Choose me God. Choose Me.
I forever love you
Amen

8/21/09 Tricky Tricky

1 John 2:1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
v.16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Sin is a tricky thing. There are times we sin and don't even know it. And other times we know we are sinning yet don't want to stop. But when John wrote this he knew the stronghold that sin had over us yet the power Jesus has. I think if we remain in the security of Christ and keep reminding ourselves of His word, sin wouldn't be so hard to walk away from.

v.27 As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.

I have thought many times that when i sin i lose what God has given me. But if that were true then the concept of grace wouldn't be around. God is showing us that sin doesn't ruin everything. If it did than the power and authority wouldn't be as strong as He has said it was. Sin can destroy us but Jesus takes those destructed pieces and puts us back together.

Lord,
I am in pieces. There are many things i do and keep doing but i want to stop. There are things i know yet don't know which brings more confusion. Father, help me and forgive me for my sins, my thoughts and my actions. You know the depth os my heart even things i don't know. I ask you, I plead show me and make things clear to me so i live solely in you.
I forever love you
Amen

8/16/09 The Extra Mile

Psalm 112:5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.

Giving is not a new concept. Since the beginning God has wanted people to go the extra mile. Ex: The Good Samaritan, the father in the prodigal son. But when we show kindness and generosity it shouldn't be to see what the reward is because most likely there is none.

Yesterday a kid that i don't know asked me for a dollar. Its so easy to say no or to lie and say i don't have anything but i decided to give it to him. I hardly ever know the reason why people ask for the money but that's where you trust God that whatever i'm sowing in i know He will make sure it won't be takes for granted.

Lord-
You give me above and beyond for a reason and its to help those who don't have much. Keep sowing in me so i can in return help your people that don't have much.
I forever love you
Amen